懦弱中英对照版(全)


第一集 我想她是对的。我总是太软弱了，太容易屈服，按照别人的意愿行事。可是我没法改变自己，我一直都是这么一个软弱的人。 She's right, I guess. I'm simply not assertive enough. I'm way too agreeable, way too much inclined to go along with whatever anyone suggests and hope for the best. Whatever comes, I make do. 我也知道现在我应该有些反抗精神，特别是面对现在正在发生在我身上的事情。但是我并不讨厌最近发生在我身上的变化，实际上，卡梅伦是对的，她说现在的我比以前的我好了很多，更受欢迎了。 她说，“你并不适合原来的自己，你应该感谢我把你变成了现在的样子”。 I can't help it, I'm a nice guy, always have been, or anyhow I once was. I know now that I should've been a little less trusting. A lot less I suppose. I should have insisted on knowing what was going on. But who knew And it doesn't really matter, it's just as well. How I've ended up isn't too bad. Really, it isn't, I'm not complaining! It's not unpleasant, not at all, don't get me wrong, I'm not really protesting or anything. In fact the chances are Cameron was right when she told me I'm a lot better off than before. You just weren't cut out for what you were, she said. So be grateful! I do try. 没有人觉得这样子有什么不对，包括我现在公司里的姐妹们。 No one else seems to think anything's wrong, that anything odd happened. Nobody at work, none of the other girls, the ones I hang out with nowadays. Certainly not Cameron. 卡梅伦(Cameron)是她的姓，我并不知道她的名字是什么。在公司里，我是她的下属，一直都称呼她为卡梅伦女士。 Cameron's her last name, I don't even know her first name, but everyone calls her that except at work where she's always Ms. Cameron to subordinates like me. The 'Ms.' keeps people distanced, if that's where I want them, she explained when she was telling me not to call her Cameron any longer. 卡梅伦女士曾经是我的女朋友。这一生中我做的最伟大的事情，就是让我住进了她的房间。当然是我乞求她的结果，我一直都在告诉她我多么想和她住在一起，终于有一天，她同意了。我们住在一起好几个月，我整理她的房间，打扫卫生。虽然我们之间从来没有发生过男女朋友之间应该有的亲密，但是我依然希望她会成为我的女朋友。 Ms. Cameron was once my girlfriend. The one big thing I did in my life was talking her into letting me move in with her. Bugging her into it, maybe. I kept telling her how I wanted to until one day she relented. So for some months we lived together and I took care of her place, and even though we were never intimate I had hopes. I wanted her to be my girlfriend. 卡梅伦最后真的成了我的女友。我们就像姐妹一样的住在了一起，毫无保留的互相倾诉心事，交换着用彼此的衣服和化妆品。直到最后她嫁给了加里(Gary)先生。 Then she really did become my girlfriend. We lived together the way girlfriends do, told each other secrets, shared our clothes and make-up, you know. Until she got married to Gary. 现在卡梅伦就只是我的老板了。她告诉我，不管什么时候，我都要牢记我比她低下。我需要离开她去过自己的生活，当然要按照她现在帮我确定的生活方式。 Now she's only my boss. She tells me to remember that whenever she says Jump! I've got only one answer, How high She points out that we're no longer equals even socially, that I need to develop my own life completely apart from hers, the way she has from mine. Mostly I already have. 在卡梅伦嫁给加里之前，那时我们还是住在一起的女友，有一次我问她，“是你将我变成了现在的样子，现在又要我离开你，你不该为我负点责任吗？”。那时我已经意识到，卡梅伦从一开始就计划着利用她的影响力和我的软弱，将我变成了现在的样子。 You don't feel even a little bit responsible for me I once asked her when we were still living together, because by then I knew she'd set it all up knowing I'd go along because that was the course of least resistance. 卡梅伦回答说，“是你要求我改变你的。所以你才是应该负责任的那个，我只不过是帮助了你，你应该感谢我才对，我做了一个闺中密友对她的好姐妹能做的一切。” You urged yourself on me, she replied. So you're responsible. You should have known you were asking for what happened. And anyhow, I've done you a favor. Be grateful. I've done what girlfriends always try to do for each other. 有时候我很迷惑，她总是说我们是好姐妹，虽然她应该算是我的前女友，至少我觉得她是我的女朋友。工作午餐时我曾经和其他女孩子聊天的时候说起，我是她的前男友，我想让卡梅伦继续把我当作男友而不是她的闺中密友。每次这个时候，她们都会笑出声来，她们告诉我忘了以前的事情吧，让我赶紧自己找一个固定的男友。 This puzzled me. She was saying we were girlfriends, which we were, though she was still my former girlfriend, or I'd hoped she would be. But when she did me this favor I was supposed to be her boyfriend, not her girlfriend, anyhow I was trying to get to be her boyfriend, and I still do consider myself her former boyfriend, in a way. But when I told that to the other girls at lunch the other day, they just laughed and told me to forget about it and get myself a steady boyfriend of my own, that it's past time. 在卡梅伦结婚之前，我依然可以住在她的房间里，就像好姐妹一样。她已经为我在市区另外找了一个小房子，她说，“这个房间虽然小了，这样你的薪水可以轻易支付它的房租，而且这儿离公司很近，可以走路上班。如果你在酒吧找到合适的男人，也可以把他带回家里过夜，呵呵。” She was still a girlfriend when she told me how I'd brought it on myself. We were still living together until the house she was planning to live in with Gary was ready and they could get married and move in, and I'd finally go into my own place, a small bed-sitter she found for me downtown. Something a little more like what you can afford on your salary, as she told me. Where you can walk to work. But still, respectable, so you can invite a friend to come in for a drink if you like him. 这些都不是我曾经想要的。许多晚上，我会回忆起从前，禁不住发出叹息。这时卡梅伦会说，“不错，很有女人味，那些男人听到你的叹息，肯定抢着来安慰你。” None of this is what I'd once hoped for. Some evenings I'd remember those old dreams and I'd sigh with that breathy moan they taught me at Charm School, very feminine, drives men wild they said, and that's proved true enough. But all Cameron ever did when I made noises like that was glance at me, then grin to herself and go back to her magazine or TV show or whatever. 一天晚上，当我又发出这样一声叹息的时候，卡梅伦突然叫我一起出门，去一个酒吧，见一些新的男人。卡梅伦说我需要经历更多这样的场合，在这些公众的地方，我能更好的做一个女人，就像我的漂亮服装和化妆所表现出来的一样，做一个妩媚的女人，并且让那些男人也这样认为。我提出了抗议，卡梅伦变得不耐烦了，“天啊，詹妮(Jamie)，不要再闷闷不乐地幻想了！这已经是个现实！你现在是个女人！你将会爱上做女人的！而且你现在已经体验了一些做女人的好处了，不是吗？” One night I must have given out a really pathetic little yip without even realizing it, because she closed her book Snap! and suggested abruptly that we go out for a bite to eat and then do some more furniture shopping for her new place, then maybe go to a club and meet some new people so I could practice more of what I'd been learning about feminine sociability. Because we both knew that in public from then on I'd need to behave as if I really were what I look like, what people think I am. When I objected she just said impatiently in that honeyed voice of hers, For God's sake, Jamie, do quit moping. Get over it! It's done! You're a girl! And you may not know it yet but you will love it! You already do in some ways, I can tell. 卡梅伦是对的。我虽然并不特别喜欢做女人，但是我已经习惯了做女人了，而且已经享受到了做女人的好处。比如说，卡梅伦让我像她的其他女职员一样，每个月的那几天都要使用卫生巾，有时她会把她来月经时候使用过的卫生巾让我戴上。“这样，你可以体会做一个女人，来月经的时候下面都是什么感觉。以后你要习惯经常使用护垫或者卫生詹妮，对你来说，这将是再正常不过的事情。” She wasn't wrong, not altogether. I didn't love it, but I'd gotten used to it, and I could see that there were certain advantages. Though sometimes I'd feel like such a fool! I mean, take for example her insistence that once a month I do what all the other girls in the office do so I'll be fully sharing their lives, and insert tampons into me same as they do, and take a teaspoon of Ipecac to simulate cramps same as theirs. Then you'll appreciate how a girl feels down there. And also you'll get used to things getting put into you down there. It'll seem more natural. 最后我终于习惯了使用卫生巾了，不过是在她对我开始使用假阳具之后。刚开始的时候我接受不了那些“超人”级别的假阳具的，甚至那些仿真人大小的假阳具也不行，只能使用那种最小的假阳具。我必须承认的是，被那些假阳具插，是一件很愉悦的事情，感觉很舒服。 Well, it didn't, not at the time. Not the Super size, anyhow, only the Junior Miss. And not the dildos she wanted me to use before every date just in case, to give me a taste of the real thing. Though I must say, pushing those soft rubber tubes in and out of me has always felt sort of ... well, friendly, if you know what I mean. Delicious. I'd look forward to it. 所以我觉得做女人挺好的，但是并不意味着我就想做个女人了。可是我无法和卡梅伦解释我的这种想法，她也不想知道。 So being a girl wasn't too bad at all, but it still didn't seem right. And I couldn't talk to her about any of it! She didn't want to know. 有一次我穿着卡梅伦的睡衣吃早餐，心里想着得自己买一件睡衣了，不能老是穿她的啊。借着这个机会，我向卡梅伦说了，我觉得做女人很好，可是并不想做个真正的女人。 I tried once when I came down to breakfast still wearing that　shortie nightgown she'd loaned me, thinking that it was time for me　to get my own, and soon. She looked me over top to bottom, chewing　her toast, and she listened to me begin my speech. 我刚开始解释这个意思，卡梅伦就打断了我，“詹妮，你应该在几个月以前就告诉我这些，你应该在一开始住进我屋里的时候，就表现得像个男人！而且你应该告诉希拉(Sheila)，告诉那些美容中心的女孩，手术室的医生，等等那些相关的人。可是詹妮你没有，她们问你是不是想做女人的时候，你都说：是！你对她们的每一个提议都同意了，从来没有异议！你是一个软弱的人，你同意了我们给你带来的变化，所以你是自己要做个女人的，而不该推卸责任给我们！” But only the beginning. She heard that much, then frowned and　interrupted, Don't tell me, Jamie! You should have told everyone　months ago when it still mattered. You should have taken a stand　right then, at the very beginning. Acted like a man! Told Sheila　right off, and then the next day told the women at the salon and　the doctors at the clinic too, everyone! But no, they all asked　you if you really wanted this, or that, and you kept replying Sort　of, and I guess. You agreed to everything! You were a good　sport, the way you always are! You went along! So you did it to　yourself! “是的，可是我当时并不是很清楚要发生什么．．．” Yes, but I've never been perfectly sure that .... 卡梅伦坚定的看着我，“我想这时候你再后悔已经晚了。詹妮，看看你自己吧，你做的是永久去毛，身体和脸部已经比我的还要光滑了。你的身体也越来越圆润，胸部已经很饱满了，乳房比我的还要大了，而且还在继续发育，看看你的乳头，已经比我的还要挺了！而且你下面的小鸡巴已经失去功能了。不用解释，我见过很多男人的鸡巴，我知道它已经不能恢复男人应该有的功能了。詹妮你已经不能回头了。” 我呆住了，我知道，卡梅伦说的是对的。 She just looked steadily at me. It does seem to me a little late　for you to rethink your commitments. For God's sake, Jamie, just　look at you! Soft and round and getting more so, face and body hair　permanently gone, not that there ever was much. And your breasts　coming in so nicely, just look at them, your nipples already poke　out further than mine! And your weenie's now not much more than　just that. I know, I see it often enough, what there is left to　see. You can't go back. I just stood there. She was right, I knew it. 卡梅伦扭头看早报了。“詹妮，我们以前也谈过的。我还能说什么呢？詹妮你该做适合你自己的选择！你已经签了合同的，而且是在你完成了解后果的情况下。不要认为我会让你毁约，去做回詹妮你原先的男人模样。而且在我为了你做了那么多事情的情况下。”她坚定的摇头，“不可能！” She turned back to her morning paper. Jamie, we've had this　conversation before. What can I say Suit yourself! Just don't　expect me to stand by and cheer because you think you can breach a　contract you signed in full knowledge of its consequences and then　somehow scramble back to where you were and where we were! To　where you wished we were! After everything that's happened She　shook her head at the absurdity. No way! 现在卡梅伦站起身了，我注意到她穿了正装。今天应该是周末吧？“我早上要出去几个小时”，她说，“加里下午会过来，我让他把他的朋友也带过来，叫马丁(Marty )。你还记得马丁吧？我还记得上一次你们在一起相处得很愉快”。她自信的笑起来，“我想，马丁一定让詹妮你享受到了做女人的快乐吧，呵呵。” Now she stood up. She was already dressed, I saw, wearing one of　her business suits. On a Saturday I've got to go in for a few　hours this morning, she said. Gary's coming over this afternoon　for drinks and talk and, you know, to fool around. I've asked him　to bring his friend Marty for you again. You remember Marty You　loved being with him last time, I remember, whatever it was you two　found to do. She smiled confidentially. I'm sure he showed you　how being a girl has its advantages. 我当然记得。马丁并不知道我早就开始使用假阳具了，当我的小鸡巴已经不能硬起来的时候我就开始使用假阳具了。但是他知道那次是我第一次和一个男人一起，所以他对我很温柔。他那次只是插进去一部分，为了让我能够熟悉那种感觉。尽管如此，他的鸡巴对我来说还是太大了，第二天我几乎走不动路了，甚至无法坐起。卡梅伦可能就是根据这点，看出来了马丁对我做的事情。“下一次吧，詹妮”，离开的时候马丁说，“下一次我会全部插进去的，让你感受我的全部。你好好想想吧，想象一下被我的大鸡巴插，是什么感觉。我会让你像个妓女一样的渴望男人的鸡巴的。” I remembered. Marty hadn't known that I'd started using dildos to get off when my penis wouldn't stiffen any longer, but he did know it was my first time with a man, so he was very considerate. He poked only part of himself into me, to get me used to the feel, and then he lay there quietly. Even so he was huge, I could barely walk or sit the next day. Cameron probably thought we'd gone all the way. Next time, Jamie! he'd told me when he finally pulled it out. Next time I'll fill you full of me. Till then you just think about it. Imagine what it's like. I want you to yearn for it! 我确实好好想过，我也不知道是否很渴望被插，但是不管如何，马丁下午就过来了，我觉得心里还是挺开心的。 I had thought about it. I still wasn't sure. But yearn for it or　not, apparently 'next time' was later today. I reconciled myself　to it. I suppose I wanted it. “对了，詹妮，帮我们做件事情”，卡梅伦说，“我需要去做头发和美容，詹妮你清洁一下家里，还有帮我们洗衣服。我们的内衣都需要清洗了，你没注意到吗？” Cameron then looked around. Meanwhile, Jamie, do us both a　favor, she said. While I'm gone clean up around here, would you 　 Thoroughly And start a laundry -- we're both running out of clean　undies, or haven't you noticed “詹妮，你该弄一下头发了。以前在美容院里你都没有学到些怎么梳理头发吗？还有，每次出门前都要化妆！你要对自己的外貌有自信！” 卡梅伦说完这些就出门了。她是从一个女友的角度劝告我的。我知道她是对的，我无法改变已经发生在我身上的变化，无法挽回了。我只能接受这个变化，并且爱上这个变化。 Then as she left she added, not looking back, And while you're at　it, for goodness' sake do something with your hair. Whatever do　they teach you all those afternoons you spend at the salon instead　of at your desk And please don't come down again without putting　on at least a little makeup! Take some pride in your appearance! 　Then for emphasis, Jamie! The door slammed. She didn't want to hear any more complaints, girlfriend or no　girlfriend. She was right, I guess. What was done was done, no　denying it. Accept it, live with it. 卡梅伦是对的，几个月前我就应该说出自己的异议。那时候我还是个男人，刚刚通过不懈的努力，让卡梅伦答应了我搬入她的房间。当然现在我知道了她那时为什么会同意我搬进来，是因为她看透了我的软弱本性，她那时就计划改变我，依照她的意愿。在我住进来的几个月里，每次我一谈到和卡梅伦结婚，她都会转移话题，比如说我们看过的电影啊，公司里的工作调整啊，老同学的来电啊，包括加里的出现。给我的感觉是卡梅伦根本不想结婚。可是她真的不想吗？ She was right, a few months earlier when things were a lot　different, that was when I should have said something. I was still　Jimmy then, a man who by sheer persistence had finally managed to　talk her into letting me move in with her. Though I now know she　agreed only because it suited her convenience. Once in, a few　months passed with me trying to get up nerve enough to ask her to　marry me. Though somehow whenever I started the subject she'd　shunt it over onto something else, some movie we'd seen, an　annoying change in her company's work regulations, phone calls from　old college friends, this old friend of hers named Gary who'd　showed up in town. Other stuff. It was as if she didn't want to　hear about marriage. Maybe she didn't 终于在那一天所有一切都发生了变化。我们在一个清晨，穿好衣服准备前往她的办公室工作。我是第一次去她的办公地点。卡梅伦是Honeybelle公司的市场总监，Honeybelle是一家庞大的化妆品公司，产品遍布全球范围。Honeybelle的大楼很壮观豪华，而卡梅伦已经被晋升到高级管理员，负责管理一个楼层的所有营销人员和市场分析师等。 Then that one day everything changed. We were getting dressed　together in the pre-dawn dark, getting ready to go to her office,　me for the first time. Cameron's a marketing supervisor for　Honeybelle, that huge Cosmetics manufacturer, you've seen their　stuff everywhere, their head office is a huge high rise building in　this city and Cameron had already been promoted to Senior Manager,　in charge of a whole floor full of analysts and salespeople and　bookkeepers. 卡梅伦推荐我去应聘，做她的秘书。做为一个男人，做秘书或前台接待并不是很好的工作，但是卡梅伦说这份工作很适合我，而且是个很特殊的职位，这样她的职员都要事先经过我，才能和她联系。卡梅伦还劝慰我，说尽管她所管理的这个楼层里所有职员都是女性，但是我不用害羞的。因为Honeybelle一向公平对待男女职员，只要我符合Honeybelle的需要。 I was applying that morning for a job as her　secretaryreceptionist. As a job it doesn't sound like much, I　know, but it really was rather special, she assured me, because　everyone on the floor would have to come to me to get to her. It　didn't matter that I wasn't a girl like all the other employees on　that floor -- under fair employment practices rules, men had an　equal chance to qualify for any job that came available at　Honeybelle, if they wanted it, if they were suitable. 而且我很需要这份工作，我的积蓄已经不多了。自从我搬入卡梅伦的房间，我就辞掉了原来的工作，那个公司太远了，而且我原先的工作是软件设计，这个职业根本赚不到钱。当然我也找到了几份其他的工作面试，但是卡梅伦坚持要让我到她的公司来上班。而且这几个面试的工作单位地点都很远，我也不想因为工作的关系离开卡梅伦，我爱她，我好不容易才搬到她的房间里，我不能因为工作关系又搬走。虽然每次我暗示着问她是否爱我的时候，她都是摇头的，但我依然在试着让她爱上我。 And I needed the work. My savings were about gone. Soon after　Cameron and I began living together I'd lost my job. The software　company I'd worked for went belly up, and all sorts of programmers　like me found themselves on the streets with no prospects. Most ofthem left town. I'd gotten a few out-of-town offers too, and each　time Cameron had urged me to take them. But now that she and I　were finally living in the same apartment, I didn't want to leave　her. It would mean an end to our relationship. And I was in love　with her. As she was with me, I wanted to believe, though she'd　just shake her head whenever I hinted it hopefully. 当卡梅伦同意我搬进来的时候，做了一些特殊的约定。“厨房旁边有个女佣的房间”，她说，“这个房间就是你的了。你不准进入我的寝室，除非是帮我整理房间和收拾换洗的衣服。你必须承担所有的家务，包括做饭。你必须做这些女佣的事情，来低偿你的房租。” When she finally agreed to let me move in with her, it wasn't the　usual arrangement. It was very conditional. There's a maid's　room off the kitchen, she'd said. That'll be yours. You don't　enter my bedroom at all except to straighten up and make the bed　and collect my laundry. You take over all the household chores,　cleaning and so on, cooking full dinners whenever I eat in, that　sort of thing. That's the arrangement. That's how you'll pay your　way. 我当然很高兴这个安排，这样我就有了很多机会向她表现，表现出我是多么合格的一个丈夫。 “不要幻想能和我有任何亲密”，卡梅伦说，“如果我对你有那方面的感觉的话，我会告诉你的。你不准提出任何那方面的要求。” I'd been glad to, because it gave me plenty of opportunity to show　her what a great husband I'd make.　 Don't expect intimacies of any kind, she'd stipulated. If I　should ever feel anything like that I'll tell you -- you don't ever　ask me. 我回答卡梅伦说，这是一个很公平的约定。所以我从来没有要求过和她做亲密的事情，而她也从来没有提出过。但是我仍然怀着希望。因为不管怎么样，她突然同意了我住进她的房间，这已经是一个巨大的进展了。而且很快她就给了我另外一个惊喜。在我搬进去的第二天早上，我发现她坐在厨房里，身上只穿了胸罩和内裤！她看了看我，低头继续一边读报纸，一边喝咖啡。我坐在她的对面，看着她，有些不敢相信我的好运。 I told her that sounded fair. So I never did ask, even though she　never offered. But I still had hopes. And almost immediately, I　couldn't believe my eyes, I was granted a kind of intimacy anyhow. 　The very next morning I found her sitting in the kitchen wearing　only her bra and panties. She glanced up at me, then resumed　reading the newspaper and sipping her coffee. I sat down and　continued to stare at her. 卡梅伦抬头看我，用很平静的语气说，“詹姆(Jimmy)，别再盯着我看了，这样是不礼貌的。也许你还不能理解，尽管你现在住我这儿，并且帮我做家务，但是我不会因此改变我的生活习惯。记住这是我的房间。我希望你不要在意我穿什么，或者什么也不穿。如果你做不到的话，我只能要你搬出去。” She'd sighed and looked up again, then said in a level voice,　Jimmy, stop staring, it isn't polite. Maybe you don't understand. 　Just because you're living here now and looking after things for me　doesn't mean I'm going to change any of my habits. This is my　apartment. I expect you not to notice how I'm dressed or　undressed. If you can't ignore it I'll have to ask you to move　out. 所以我不再关注卡梅伦是否穿着衣服，至少从来不让她发现我是否关注。有些时候她甚至会裸体在房间里走动，有时她是刚洗完澡就裸体出来了，根本不在意我是否在房间里。卡梅伦有着一副性感的身材，很苗条，但是曲线动人，臀部、胸部都凹凸有致。有时我听到她在电话里聊天，用的是挑逗的声音，我猜想她应该是在和某个男人调情。我偷偷的看了一下，发现卡梅伦正在用另一只手抚摸她的阴部，臀部也在轻微的摇摆着。她的手指和阴部，湿湿的，在灯光下发亮，那么诱人。她发现了我正在看她，她只是看着我，当我不存在一样，继续笑着和电话那端调情，反而更加兴奋的自慰着。 So I didn't notice, not so she'd notice anyhow. Sometimes she actually went around nude, even when I was in the same room vacuuming or maybe running her bath. She had a sensational figure, thin but with astonishing curved bulges jutting out on her hips and chest and rear end. Once I heard her on the phone chatting with someone in a teasing tone of voice, some guy maybe, and when I passed through the room I could see that the whole time she'd been stroking her clit and wriggling her hips ever so slightly. Her fingers and labia, you know, that slit women have down there, they were glistening wet. But she just looked up at me and then through me as if I weren't there, and smiled at something the other person must have said, and diddled herself some more. 同样的，卡梅伦也看到了我的裸体。有些时候还看到了我的勃起。那是没有办法的，因为那几次卡梅伦都穿得很少甚至裸体，我无法禁止自己的勃起，她太性感了。同样的，她从来不关注我是否裸体或者是否勃起，也许她是嫌我勃起后的鸡巴太小了。她的眼神看到我，就像看到一个家具一样的平常。 She'd seen me naked often enough too. And with a hard on a few times, when she was nearly naked and looking ravishing and I couldn't help it. But again, she never seemed to notice. Her eyes passed over me as if I were a piece of furniture. She didn't seem to care. 不管怎样，我们是生活在一个房间里了。或者像一般人所说的，同居了。至少这是一个不错的开始。我想，今后只是时间问题了吧。 Even so, there I was, living with her. Shacked up, like they say. It was a beginning. I figured it was only a matter of time. 我住进卡梅伦的房间以后，就很快辞掉了原来的软件设计的工作。这让我有充足的时间来为她整理房间，做家务。但是我仍然比较懒惰，在接下来的几个月里，卡梅伦对我发了好几次脾气，因为我把时间花在了读报纸，找工作上面。而且我不太可能找到好的工作，因为那些软件公司都不缺人，或者就是办公地点离城里很远。 Once I was out of work I had lots of time to keep her place in perfect order. But still, I was a layabout. In the months that followed she'd sometimes get short-tempered about my hanging out reading the ads, interviewing for jobs for which I was overqualified and under-enthusiastic, then not getting them anyhow, or else doing nothing. Oh, I'd looked, but there were software designers all over the streets going begging. Literally! I'd passed one sitting on a street corner with a piece of cardboard around his neck reading Will hack for food! and I'd carefully not looked back at him. Someone's joke, I supposed, though maybe not. 但是这个Honeybelle的工作是一个好机会。卡梅伦的前秘书洛丝(Rosemond)小姐要结婚了，因为要和老公要搬去另一个城市，所以辞职了。按照卡梅伦要求的，我给洛丝发了一个电脑卡通动画，是一只母鸡骑在一个公鸡上面。“她肯定乐死了”，卡梅伦说，“她很精明，有决断力。那个男人就只是好看而已。她肯定会是家里的主宰”。卡梅伦说完这个话，就很认真的审视着我，但是没有再说什么其他的。我感到了一丝不安。她仔细的看着我，然后告诉我说，她可以安排让我来顶替洛丝丝的工作，直到她为我找到更合适的职位。“你就投简历吧，我会尽量安排的，让你来做我的秘书。” But this Honeybelle thing was a real job opening. Rosemond, her previous secretary-receptionist, had just quit to get married and relocate out of town. At Cameron's request I'd designed and sent the couple a computer-animated congratulations e-mail, a cartoon hen mounting a cartoon rooster. She'll laugh, Cameron had said. It probably is that kind of relationship, too. She's smart and assertive and he's good looking but nobody. She'd then looked hard at me but said nothing. I felt uneasy. Watching me closely, she then told me that I had an inside track to replace Rosemond if I was willing to work as her secretary until something more suitable showed up. Apply for the job, and I'll see that it's yours. 洛丝的工作没什么了不起的，我能打字，能做文档编辑，毕竟我以前是做软件设计的。而且我能够友好的接待那些等待和卡梅伦见面的职员和客户。当然，我也能接听她的来电，帮她安排日程和其他安排。这个工作我肯定能做好。 Well, what Rosemond did was no big deal. I could file, and I could type a blue streak flawlessly, an essential skill if one's profession is really writing software. And I could be pleasant enough with people waiting to see her, and certainly I could answer the phone and keep her appointment book, and so forth. No problem. 卡梅伦对我说，我会比其他的应聘者有优势。因为我个子不高，身材苗条，骨架也很小，还有一头金发。而且我的个性很容易让女孩子接受，她们会觉得我很可爱。“你将会很适应这个工作的，我敢肯定。这份工作虽然钱少，但是你需要它。” And I was much better-suited than an applicant she'd seen yesterday, Cameron told me. That's what had given her the idea. I wasn't as tall, she said, but like this other applicant I was slim and blonde and had small, pleasant features. And I move with a kind of sprightly good cheer people like, she pointed out. Girls have always thought I was cute. You'd adapt well, I'm sure of it, she said. And I hate to say it, but right now you're more of a nobody than even Rosemond's fiance. He at least has a job. 一旦我做了卡梅伦的秘书，将会影响我平常做家务杂事。“也许你以后不该做太多我的家务了”，卡梅伦说，“我在考虑调整我们的关系”。我的心都要跳出来了，她是在暗示什么吗？也许我终于等到了那个时刻。当然我并不知道卡梅伦那时其实已经和加里订婚了，我甚至不知道加里一直是卡梅伦的男友。 We agreed that it would be good for me to get out of the house, and that full-time work as her secretary wouldn't interfere with my domestic chores. You may not be doing menial things for me here much longer anyhow, she said, looking meaningfully at me. I'm thinking of changing our relationship, making other arrangements. My heart leapt up at the implication! At last I didn't know at the time that she and Gary were already engaged. I didn't even know there was a Gary anywhere in her life. 所以那天我和Honeybelle的人事部门约了时间，关于应聘洛丝的工作。就是今天了，我们穿好了衣服，正要出门，卡梅伦突然停住了我，看着我。 So I'd made an appointment to talk to Personnel about Rosemond's job, and we were getting dressed to go in together, when she suddenly stopped and looked at me. “我们昨晚吃了虾，是吗？” “是啊”，我说，“是你的主意，你忘了？” “这不是一个好的主意” “你昨晚可不是这么说的”，我回答，有点困惑，“你昨天把虾带回来让我做，不记得了？而且我做得非常好吃，你几乎把所有的虾都一个人吃了。” That was shrimp we had last night, wasn't it I paused. That's right, I said. You know we did. It was your idea. Not a good idea, I see. You thought it was, I replied, a little puzzled. You bought it and brought it home for me to cook, remember You didn't remember about my reaction to it last time It was delicious. You took such pleasure in it, you kept urging me to have more and more, and I did, too! 当然我自己不太能吃虾，我有些过敏，而且我一直都很注意保持体重，很少吃肉类。但是昨天卡梅伦吃的是那么香，我禁不住也吃了很多，完全忘了我可能会过敏。 自从我辞掉原来的软件设计的工作以来，已经轻了二十五磅了，这可以让我看上去精神很多，会有利于找工作。事实上今天早上我在为今天的面试寻找合适的裤子的时候，已经发现以前的裤子都显得很肥大了，我不得不勒紧腰带才能穿上。 I couldn't help myself -- that New Orleans Creole recipe I'd used was just marvelous. I'd figured the dish would go for two meals, maybe even also a lunch, but between us we'd finished the whole casserole! Mostly, I'd finished it. I was taking a chance with a food allergy -- shrimp usually give me a facial rash, though only for a day or two. More serious I thought was the pigging out, because I was on a strict diet, trying to stay slim. But with Cameron so enthusiastic about it I'd enjoyed the dish for once without worrying about either my allergies or my weight. I'd gone down twenty-five pounds since I'd first gone jobless, trying to look lean and mean for my interviews. In fact, as Cameron was asking me about last night's shrimp I was pulling up a pair of pants from a business suit I hadn't worn for months, and noticing that the waistline was now far too large. I tightened my belt and it looked as if I'd tied a sack around myself. Pin the waist up in back so it'll seem to fit in front No, then all that material would sag around my rear, and I'd look thirty years older. 我试图找到一条合身的裤子，找到的都是很休闲的款式，这些可不适合面试场合。 “我记得你说对虾过敏吧？”。卡梅伦看到我无法找到合适的裤子，她走到她的衣柜，拿出了一条黑色漆皮裤。这条漆皮裤我曾经看过卡梅伦穿过，紧紧贴着她的臀部和大腿，显得很丰满性感，很华丽。“试试这条”，卡梅伦递给我，“应该合适的。” “卡梅伦，这条是按照你的身材来定做的！我穿上会很可笑的！” I let them fall to the floor and went to my closet to find another pair. Another business suit, also no good. A pair of flannel slacks Doubtful. And all the rest of my pants were casual wear, jeans and khakis to wear whenever it doesn't matter. Useless for a job interview. Didn't you once tell me you were allergic to shrimp Cameron asked while watching me rehang my oversized pants and stare helplessly at my problem. I seem to remember. Then without another word she went to her own closet and took down a pair of her own slacks, a dark shiny fabric I always enjoyed seeing her wear, tight around her butt and thighs but flared and loose below the knee. It had panache, the way she did! Here, try these, she said, holding them out. They'll fit. Cameron, they're cut for your figure! I'd feel foolish! “这只是件裤子。如果你穿着你以前那些臃肿的裤子去面试的话，会更加可笑和愚蠢。你知道面试时候的印象有多重要，比你那些快速的打字更加重要。你现在比以前苗条了很多，这是个很好的进展，但是你应该早就注意到该换几条合适的裤子。” 她微笑了，我可是苦着脸。我拿着她的漆皮裤看了又看，腰部显得太窄了，不过有些弹性，也许能穿。 They're pants. You'd feel even more foolish applying for a secretaryreceptionist's position looking like a hip-hop hobo. A neat appearance is even more important for that job than fast typing. It's great that you've slimmed down, but you should have realized before now that your suits aren't suitable any more. She smiled. I didn't. I held her slacks up to the light and looked them over. The waistline was about right, but the material did seem a little floppy. “别担心了”，卡梅伦说，“这件漆皮裤是定做的。也许你穿上会觉得臀部那比较紧，但是紧一些总比松松垮垮的好吧。这条裤子弹性还可以，不会被撑坏的或走形的。然后你穿那件斜纹软呢运动衫，这样可以挡住你的臀部，那些男人就不会看到你的挺翘臀部了。呵呵这样你该安心了吧”。她笑着，又说，“这件运动衫同样可以遮住前面，让别人发现不了这条漆皮裤其实没有拉链。所以你穿我这条漆皮裤不成问题，问题是你的脸。你真的对虾过敏了，脸上已经起了红点。” Don't worry, she said. This pair is man-tailored. They may fit a little snug on your butt, but snug is better than sloppy, and the material stretches to form fit, it won't pull or sag. Wear that big tweed sports jacket you've got -- it'll hang down far enough to keep men from staring at your rounded rear, if that's what's worrying you. Just don't waggle. She smiled, then added, It'll also hide the fact that there's no fly. Your pants are no problem. But just look at your face. That's what we've got to deal with. Those shrimp have done you in, Jimmy! 我看了看镜子，卡梅伦说得对，我整个脸都有些发红了，还起了红斑。我知道这是暂时的，但是我的面试时间是今天早上，来不及了，也许那些面试的会把我当成一个酒鬼的。 “天啊，我该怎么办？”，我有些抓狂了，看着她，希望卡梅伦能有些什么主意。她是对的，和过敏相比，那条裤子根本不是什么问题。 A glance in the mirror confirmed what she was saying. Overeating all that shrimp had made my skin red and blotchy. I knew it was temporary. But my interview was this morning, and I now had the flushed complexion of an habitual drunkard. God, what'll I do I looked at her a little wildly. She was right, the pants were no problem at all in comparison. “如果我是你”，卡梅伦说，“我会先穿上这条漆皮裤，然后坐下来。放心吧，我会处理好你的脸部的。不，不要再穿你的平角短裤了，那会让漆皮裤有褶子的，而且让你的腿看上去很粗笨！”，她从她的抽屉力拿出一件她的内裤，“穿我这个吧，它会让你的漆皮裤看上去平整的。不用担心腰上的蕾丝，那可以遮掩裤线。你不想让别人发现你的漆皮裤上凸现出来裤线吧，呵呵～”现在她越发笑得开心了。 What I'd do, I suppose, she replied. Slip into those pants and sit down over there, and I'll take care of it. No, not with those boxer shorts, they'll bunch and the legs will look lumpy! Here! She reached into her drawer and took out a pair of her panties. These'll keep your bottom neat. Don't worry about the lace on the waist band and the legs, they're so your panty line won't show. You wouldn't want that, would you Now she grinned broadly. “卡梅伦，这样我无法出门！我不能．．．” Cameron, this isn't going to work! I said. I can't.... “詹姆！这是你几个月来最好的一次机会。只需要两道面试，人事部门的和我的，我这儿绝对没问题的。所以你只需要让人事部门对你没有异议就可以了。想想看你得到这份工作之后吧！我们将会有两份收入！而且我们可以整天都在一个办公室里！这太完美了！” Look, Jimmy! This is your best job opportunity in months. Only two interviews required, me and Personnel, and I've already told Personnel you're who I want. Get past Personnel and come work for me, and look what we'll have! Two incomes again! And together all day long at the office! And once you're in-house, you'll be the first to hear about other jobs closer to your special skills. It's perfect! “但是，我的脸怎么办啊？” But what about my face “先穿上这条内裤，把你的那个藏在两腿之间，这种内裤有弹性纤维布料的，可以藏住它。嗯，不错！看吧，我就知道这种内裤会很适合你穿的，很贴合你的胯部和臀部，而且不会有裤线！好了，现在坐下来吧，我来弄你的脸部。嗯今天你刮得挺干净的。首先，把你的头发往后梳。对就这样，然后用这个！”，她递给我一个别头发的发夹，“嗯这样好多了。现在你要仰着脸。” Tuck your package between your legs, those panties have enough lycra and spandex to keep them there. Good! See now, I knew those pants would fit. Nicely form fit in the crotch and rear, yet your panty line doesn't show at all! Here, sit here and let me attend to your face. You gave yourself a really close shave this morning, I see. Maybe that's why that rash is so visible But first bind your hair back! Brush it a few times, then use this! She handed me one of her ponytail scrunchies. That's it. Before anything else we need to get our hair off our faces! No, higher up, so it's off your neck too. “米黄色的”，卡梅伦从她的化妆桌上拿来一个瓶子，“太好了，我这有公司里的Rose beige，这是不退色的，不会被擦掉。” I pulled my long hair back as instructed, then sat down at her makeup table, back to the mirror and facing her as she pulled up a chair. Rose beige, I'd say, she said, reaching behind me toward the massed bottles alongside the mirror. Lucky I have it in the Honeybelle Colorfast line -- it's like paint, it won't rub off. “Rose beige？是什么啊？”，老实说，我不喜欢这些，可是我知道一旦卡梅伦打定主意了，最好别阻止她。而且她是对的。我需要这份工作，更何况一旦能和她在一起工作，我们会变得更亲密的。很快我就能让我们之间的关系更进一步，让她更尊重我，甚至崇拜我，嘿嘿。 What is I wasn't too happy about this, but I knew that once Cameron decides on a course of action she follows through. And she was right. I needed this job, and I felt sure that once I was working with her we'd come to feel closer. I was sure of it. It would end the little strains that had developed in our relationship, and return me to something like respect. Maybe even admiration. “这是粉底。能掩盖住瑕疵和污点。好了，看吧！”，她用一个海绵在我的脸上擦了一会，“差不多了！你又恢复美丽的肤色了！” This foundation. Covers all blemishes and discolorations. There! Look! She stopped stroking my face with a small sponge and sat back. Almost done! Beautiful complexion restored! 她在取笑我吧？我转身看向镜子，真的，那些红斑点不见了。可是我现在的脸就像是服装店里的人体模特，整个一米黄色的，不论是额头、脸颊还是鼻子，甚至我的嘴唇和眉毛都是一样颜色，快分不出来了。 Was she teasing me I turned and looked into the mirror. The blotches were indeed gone. But instead I saw the face of a store window mannequin, my face a uniform pale tan, forehead, cheeks, and nose. Even my lips and eyebrows had disappeared under the even coating. “我看上去像是喷雾画，太假了吧，像一个展览用的假人！卡梅伦，这样我不能出门．．．” I look spray-painted, I told her. Artificial! Like a display dummy! Cameron, this isn't going to.... “不，你就这样出门！我每天工作时都用这个粉底，看上去很自然！你太着急了，我还需要做些处理，然后看上去就自然了！现在你不准说话，否则我们会迟到的！” Oh yes it will! I wear this foundation to work every day, and it looks perfectly natural! Just wait! Only a few more touches to return you to a state of nature! No more talk--we're running late as it is! 我也很担心时间来不及了，所以乖乖的，任由卡梅伦很熟练的在我的脸上摆弄着，似乎她用了另一种深褐色的唇膏，又在我的脸颊上打上了粉红色，还用了眉笔。 Appalled as I was, I sat still as she reached behind me for different items and applied them swiftly, touches of another shade of foundation here and there, then a dark beige lipstick to recover the shape of my lips, pink blush on my cheeks but also underneath to create shadowed cheekbones, and a few strokes of eyebrow pencil. “好了，现在你的眉毛比较像样了，不会像以前一样看起来像是被拔过毛一样。但是现在这样显得你眼睛很小。嗯我得给你的眼睛再弄弄！闭上眼睛！” There, now your brow arch is very becoming, and you don't look plucked hairless any more. But your eyes have nearly disappeared. I'd better make them a little more bold! Close them! 我闭上眼睛，感觉到一根软笔描画着我的眼睛周围，还有一个很像羽毛的东西滑过我的眼睑。“现在睁开眼睛！”。现在我能看到卡梅伦，距离那么近，很清晰。她专注着用某个东西揩擦我的眼睫毛，先是湿的，然后是干的。“yes！现在完成了！”。她又用了一个粉扑，我能闻到淡淡的花粉香味。“闭上眼睛！闭住呼吸！一会就好”。我听到咝咝声，感到脸上突然潮湿了，就像是使用发胶．．．她对我的脸使用发胶？“我的小伎俩！”，她满意的说，“现在这些妆不会被洗掉或者擦掉了。今晚你必须使用卸装油才行，就像我们女生一样。放心，我有足够多的卸装油。好了，你可以看镜子了！” I did, and felt a soft crayon lining the edges, then something feathery across my eyelids. Look up! and I could see her clearly, concentrating intently as something wiped my lashes, wet for a moment, then dry. There! Now close again! I felt a powder puff and smelled a faint flowery dust in the air. That's what blends everything! Keep them shut! Don't breathe for a moment! And I heard a hissing and felt momentary moisture, as if she were hair spraying ... my face My little trick! she said, satisfied. Now none of it will rub off or wash off. You'll need to use makeup remover tonight, just like all of us girls. I have plenty. Now you can look at yourself! “这才是我喜欢的样子”，她说，“我的小可爱！太完美了！” I turned again, and did. There's my matinee idol, she added. My pretty boy! Perfect! 是的，我也看到了镜子，确实完美。问题就在于这个完美。男人的脸是从不完美中体现性格的，可是我的脸… 镜子里依然是我，这不错，可是我却看到了一双大大的洋娃娃式的眼睛，无辜的看着我，这张脸被化妆得就像是在暗示别人亲我一样的暧昧。我的眉毛变细了，变精巧了，有个古怪的弧度。我的嘴唇还是自然色，可是比较深，而且描画得很清晰。我的脸也变得更光滑，象牙式的米黄色，看上去比较．．．丰满。我看上去确实很自然，就像一个女孩的工作妆，也可能是约会妆。 What I saw in the mirror was perfect, all right. And that was the problem. Men's faces take character from their imperfections, jutting masses covered with mottled skin. But not mine. It was me all right. But I saw large doll eyes staring out innocently from a face that was blushing as if at some overly-intimate suggestion, My eyebrows were thin, delicate, raised quizzically. My lips were their natural color, nearly, but darker, and perfectly outlined against my smooth, flawless, ivory-beige skin, somehow more ... plump. I looked natural, yet artificial. Smooth. Like a girl made up for work or a date. “卡梅伦”，我准备提出抗议。 Cameron, I began. “詹姆！这样很好，相信我。也许有些太可爱了，可是这才是你的特点。现在你已经很好的穿着和打扮化妆了，就像一个前台接待应该有的样子，可以接待那些重要的人物，或者告诉其他人等候。亲爱的，我已经做了我能做的，难道你要带着一张红斑脸去面试？就像一个病态的酒鬼？相信我，你现在看上去好多了！很可爱，呵呵。还有，不要再戴领带，穿衬衣，这些太正式了。我一般会穿浅色的柔和些的，来配这件漆皮裤。穿这件桃红色的运动衫吧，我几周前为你买好的。好了，我们出发吧！要不该迟到了。” Never mind, Jimmy! You're fine. Trust me. Maybe a little cute, but that's you, and now you're well-defined, perfectly groomed, the way a receptionist should look when greeting important people and telling them to wait until they're called. Honey, that's the best I can do, and it'll do! Would you rather go in splotchy and mottled, looking like an old lush A diseased drunk You look good now! Lovely, if you must know. Finish getting ready. No, no tie with that sports jacket, an open necked-shirt, and wear your tasseled loafers, not those formal lace-up clod hoppers. I usually wear pale pastels with those slacks -- here's the pinkish sports shirt I got you a few weeks ago, wear that! Let's go, we're late! 来到门口，我不知道该不该就这样出门。“走吧亲爱的”，卡梅伦催我，“我知道你在想什么。你在想希拉吧，她今天将面试你。她会觉得你看起来很可爱。好了别担心这个了。也许她会认为你是个gay，你现在的形象确实有些gay。别伤心，女性化不会伤害任何人。在Honeybelle我们没有性别歧视，实际上希拉是个les。我告诉你吧，我会带你进去，确认希拉只按程序办事，测试你的打字速度，填写你的应聘表格，等等。因为我今天会很忙，所以我需要你赶紧开始工作。现在，出发吧！” I hesitated at the front door. Go, baby! she urged me. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that Sheila -- she's the gal who'll interview you -- will wonder why you look so ... so good. Well, don't worry about it. If she thinks maybe you're gay, the way you look, well, it won't hurt. Effeminate won't hurt either. We don't discriminate at Honeybelle, in fact she's lezzie herself. Tell you what, I'll bring you in and make my speech and we'll make sure she does only what the procedures require, test your typing speed and fill out your employment forms and so on. Stuff like that. Because I have a busy morning, and I need you at your desk right now, practically! Let's go! 我走向她的车，脸上有些僵硬，我猜想是那些化妆的缘故。裤子穿着感觉很奇怪，当我摆动双腿时，大腿上能感到很舒服的挤压，这些弹性很好的布料紧紧的夹着我。臀部很紧，不由自主的摇动着。我的天啊，我敢肯定我的臀部现在就像卡梅伦一样的在扭摆着！而且突然我发现这件漆皮裤没有口袋！这么紧的贴在身上，根本没有口袋！而且我也没有拿钱包，任何文件都没拿！ And then I was on the front walk, heading toward her car. My face felt a little stiff -- the make-up, I supposed. My pants felt strange as I put one leg in front of the other, their loose cuffs flapping on my ankles, their smooth upper legs snugly hugging my thighs, and I realized that the way the stretch fabric gripped me, my tight-clad bottom was rotating under my oversized jacket. My God, I thought, I bet my rear end moves like Cameron's now! Suddenly it came to me! The pants were skin-tight, no pockets! No wallet! I had no documents! I patted down my jacket in a mindless reflex! Empty, of course. “詹姆，我帮你准备了那些文件了”，卡梅伦说，“你只需要拿上你的社会保障卡，还有驾照。那张填写着你以前住址的驾照，这样不会被别人发现我们住在一起。被人事部门发现的话，会认为你是靠裙带关系来应聘的，而且以后在办公室会招惹闲话。好了，我来开车。” I've got them, Jimmy, Cameron said as my hands danced over my body. All you need really is your social security card and your driver's license with your old address on it. It's best if it isn't on the record that we live together. Nepotism, favoritism, whatever. It makes for divisive office gossip. I'll drive. ＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊第二集 半个小时后，我们在卡梅伦的保留车位下车了，前往电梯。在地上一层时，一位老先生进来了。“女士们好！”，他很礼貌的触了一下帽沿，对我们打招呼，然后就转身面对着电梯门了。我吃惊的看着卡梅伦，天啊！卡梅伦扭头对我怪笑了一下，就好像她要告诉我一个大笑话的表情。 ii. A half-hour later we'd parked in her reserved space in the underground parking garage and were heading up in the elevator. It stopped at the first floor and an older man got on. Ladies, he said, touching his hat to both of us, then turning to face the door. I looked at Cameron, shocked! She looked back grinning as if it was some huge joke she wanted to share. 老先生在第五层就下电梯了。我很担心的看向卡梅伦，“我就担心这个！” When the man got out a few floors higher, I said to Cameron, deeply worried, I was afraid of that! “为什么要担心？”，卡梅伦回答，“这有什么关系？你看上去很不错，很称职。其他的都不重要，我告诉你，在Honeybelle，性倾向不会受到任何误解和歧视的！好了，别偷偷摸摸的，现在你要做的，是得到这份工作！所以你要表现得自信！肩膀往后挺！对，就这样！呵呵，亲爱的，唯一的毛病是，挺起胸来以后．．． 显得你胸部太平了。” Whatever for was her reply. Does it matter You look nice. Employable. The rest is unimportant, I told you, gender is not a basis for discrimination at this firm! Stop looking so furtive. Just get yourself hired! Confidence is what you need to display! Shoulders back! That's it! But, ahhh, baby, you'd better button your jacket if you're going to thrust out your chest that far. It's too obvious that you're ... under-endowed. “等等”，我说，“胸部太平了？我可是男人，你这是什么意思？” Wait a minute, I said. Under endowed for what For a man What do you mean 卡梅伦看着我，一种很后悔的表情，她咬住了下唇，不知道该不该回答我。这时电梯门开了，我们到了。走过一段红色的地毯，是一个椭圆的接待桌，后面坐着一个丰满的、深黑色头发的年轻女人，她的脸上化妆得可是比我的还仔细。在她身后，是一幅迷人女人的脸部招贴画，占了整整一面墙。脸颊偏瘦，眼影很漂亮，朦胧的看着任何从电梯里出来的人，包括我。我知道这幅画，她是Honeybelle的标志画了。在每一个Honeybelle的产品上几乎都有。而且我看到了，她的眼影，也就是卡梅伦给我画的那种眼影，显得眼睛很大，很有神秘感。 Cameron looked at me regretfully for a moment, biting her lip, not quite sure how to reply, when the elevator door opened. We stepped out. There across an expanse of deep-pile red carpet was a large elliptical reception desk with a gorgeous, dark-haired young woman seated behind it, her face even more carefully made up than mine. But she looked small compared to the image behind her on the wall, a huge, floor to ceiling photo of a glamorous woman's face,hollow-cheeked, eyes beautifully shadowed and staring dreamily at everyone leaving the elevator, welcoming me. I recognized it, the Honeybelle logo face, reproduced on every tube and jar on Cameron's dressing table. I saw too, that that was how Cameron had done my eyes. Wide with wonder and deeply shadowed in mystery. “卡梅伦女士！”，那个丰满的女孩说，“早上好！你就是詹妮吧！快进去吧，希拉正在等你！”。她对我笑了笑。不过这不像是以前任何一个女人给我的那种笑容。是亲切的鼓励，但不是男女的那种，也没有女人面对男人时候的警惕。相反的，她的笑容给我一种亲密的、没有任何防备的的感觉，很温暖，还有点．．．阴谋的味道，好像是我们在共同分享着一个大秘密。怎么说呢，就像是女人间那种姐妹的感觉。我想，她和那位老先生一样，认为我也是一个女人了。她刚才的笑容，就是一个女人对另一个女人的鼓励吧。 Ms. Cameron! she said. Good morning! And you're Jamie, of course! Go right through, Sheila's expecting you! She smiled at me. It was a smile unlike any I'd ever previously received from a woman. Encouraging. Not flirtatious, not cautious, not even merely gracious. Instead, intimate yet unguarded, warm, somehow even conspiratorial, as though there were some huge secret we shared. Sisterly, that was it. I realized that she thought I was one of her kind. A woman. She was encouraging me as if one woman to another. 我们通过一个走道，我一直在想她的笑容是什么含义，而且她叫我“詹妮”，像是个女孩的名字，而不是叫我“詹姆”，难道是口误？ 直到我们来到一个很大的双层玻璃的门前，上面写着“人事部”。卡梅伦突然打开她的钱包，拿出一个更小些的手提式小包，像是个小化妆包。 We proceeded down a corridor. I was still wondering why the receptionist had called me Jamie and not my name, James or Jim, and what her smile might mean, when we paused at a large double-glass door marked Personnel. Cameron suddenly opened her purse and took a smaller clutch purse out of it. “我们到了”，卡梅伦把这个小化妆包递给我，“你的文件都在这里了，快拿着”。然后她推开门，我们一起走了进去。我突然意识到，我手里拿着的是她递给我的化妆包。 Here we are, she said, handing it to me. Your papers are in this. Some mad money too. You'd better take it now. Then she opened the door and we both walked in, each of us, I suddenly realized, carrying purses. 在这个很大的房间里，靠墙排列着很多文件柜，前面是几张桌子。在其中一个桌子后面坐着一个很惊艳的女人，完美的化妆，显得很成熟，头巾下的头发露出了几缕挑灰的发稍，她就是希拉。当她站起来迎接我们的时候，露出很干练的眼神。“太好了，卡梅伦，你来了！詹妮，是吧？欢迎来到我们公司，亲爱的！我想我能够这么说，既然卡梅伦早就确认了詹妮你就是她想要的人。而我的工作，就是为领导找到她想用的人！” There were several desks in a rather large room lined with filing cabinets. Behind one was a striking woman, also impeccably made-up but older, with a streak of gray in her well-coiffed hair and an experienced gleam in her eyes as she rose to come around and greet us. Oh, good, Cameron, here you are! Jamie is it Welcome to the company, my dear! I suppose I can say that even now, since Cameron has already made it clear that you're the person she wants to hire, and hiring the people their bosses want is what I do! 她双手握住我的手，低头仔细看了看，然后对卡梅伦说，“你可以现在就去办公室了，我的甜心。我们需要例行公事，大约半个小时，然后我就会直接把詹妮送到你那，然后你再和她说明她要做什么工作”。 She grasped my hands in both of hers and glanced down at them for a moment, then back to Cameron. You can go to your office now, if you like, honey. We'll need about a half-hour here for the formalities, then I'll send Jamie up to you and you can explain her duties to her. 又是“詹妮”？“她”？卡梅伦转向我，“去吧，詹妮”。她强调了“詹妮”这个名字，“好好相处，你知道我的意思吧？不会有问题的！无论如何我都想要你在这儿工作！你明白我的意思？”。卡梅伦紧紧盯住我的眼睛。 Jamie again. And her Cameron turned to me. Just go with the flow, Jamie. She emphasized the word, that was my name. To get along, go along, you know No problems! I want you up there whatever! Do you understand me She held my gaze. 我不明白我的意思，但是我还是点头了。卡梅伦似乎满意了，“真可爱！那．．．一会见！”，她离开了。 I didn't, but I looked back and nodded anyway. She seemed satisfied. Lovely! See you soon! And she was out the door. 现在就剩下希拉和我了。她很亲切的看着我。 I was alone with Sheila. She now looked at me almost affectionately. “卡梅伦确实很有性格吧？她是我们这儿晋升最快的明星人物。不论她想要什么，她都能得到。我想这是你首先需要了解她的地方，至少是在工作期间。当然，你为她做事情会得到报酬的，而且你越少问题就越好，最好在为卡梅伦办事的时候不要有任何犹豫。明白吗？” Cameron's really something, isn't she She's one of our rising stars here. Whatever she wants, she gets. I think that's the first thing you need to know about her, at least during business hours. You'll be paid to do whatever she wants you to do, the fewer questions the better, and with no hesitation. Is that clear 终于让我有机会开口了。“是的，我当然明白”，我的声音显得有些高了，为什么我要紧张啊？ Finally, a moment to speak. Yes, of course, I said. My voice sounded a little high and tight to me -- why was I nervous “我能理解这个。可是，我们可能有些误会，嗯，也许是今天早上我的打扮，有些．．．嗯．．．我用了点护肤霜．．．今天。我的名字是詹姆，而不是詹妮。我．．．” I understand that. But there's a misapprehension here, maybe because of my appearance this morning, some...ahh...skin cream I've had to use today. My name is James, and no one calls me 'Jamie.' I.... “我能打扰一下吗”，希拉打断我，“卡梅伦刚叫你詹妮来着，不是吗？我刚才怎么告诉你的？不管卡梅伦要什么，她都会得到的！现在她需要一个秘书，叫做詹妮！不要有任何问题，任何例外！你刚才说你明白这个意思的！” “是的”。我说，这次学精明了。 I beg to differ, Jamie, Sheila interrupted. Cameron called you 'Jamie' just now, didn't she, and what did I just tell you What Cameron wants, Cameron gets! In this case she wants a secretaryreceptionist named 'Jamie,' no questions or exceptions! You just said you understood that! I do, I said, chastened. 希拉坐回到她的椅子上，看着我。“而且，我已经为你制作了工作证了，上面写的就是詹妮。所以这个已经定了。现在你必须要明白，有很多问题我是不允许问你的，比如种族、年龄、婚姻状况、性别、性倾向，等等。这是违反规定的。所以我也不会希望听到你提及这些方面，或者试图解释。我已经看过了你的简历。非常有印象，你有所有我们需要的计算机经验。也许你会觉得在这儿做一个秘书，会大材小用了，但是我将会向你解释，我们同样倾向于使用你的特殊技能。卡梅伦目前正红，也许很快就会晋升做更大的职位，ＣＥＯ什么的。如果你工作得不错，我想卡梅伦会带着你一起做事的。那时你可以在4层做行政秘书。当然这都要看你是否能够达到卡梅伦的要求，还有Honeybelle的要求！” “我明白。” She settled back in her chair and looked up at me. Then too, I've already had your name-plate made out as 'Jamie.' So that's that. Now understand please, there are many questions I'm not allowed to ask you, about race, age, marital status, gender, sexual preference, things like that. It's against the law. So I'd rather not hear you mention them or try to explain them either. I've seen your resume of course. It's impressive, all that computer experience. You may feel a little underemployed as a receptionist-typist here, but as I'll explain we intend to use your special skills as well. And Cameron is on the move and slated for bigger things ,such as CEO-- if you work out I'm sure she'll carry you with her. You could end up serving as an administrative secretary on the fourteenth floor. Right now that depends on how well you meet her expectations and Honeybelle's! I see. “坐下来吧，詹妮。在这本书上随便翻一页，用这个办公软件录入一下。测试一下你的打字速度和准确性。” Sit down at that desk, would you Jamie And copy any page of that book there into that word processor. Let's see something of this fabled speed and accuracy. 我坐下来，看了看电脑屏幕。这是Office2003，不过我比较熟悉它。我随意翻开一页。上面的文字密密麻麻的，还有图表，最后还有一个数学公式。真倒霉，叹完气，我开始打字，很快我就打完了。希拉走过来，审视了一下我打出来的内容，然后打印了一份，示意我可以过来了，坐在她的桌子旁边。希拉仔细看了一下，震惊了。就像我预料的那样。 I sat down and glanced at the computer screen. One of the more complex office word processors, but quite familiar to me. I opened the book at random. Dense text, tables, and a mathematical formula toward the bottom. I sighed, and began, and under a minute later I looked up, done. Sheila came over, scrolled the screen to inspect what I'd entered, made a print copy,, then wordlessly motioned me over to the chair alongside her desk. Then sat down silently, at last impressed. I thought she would be. “这个工作让扫描仪和字符识别机来做会更快的”，我建议到，“一个扫描仪只需要十几秒。这样你的秘书可以将更多时间和精力用于其他需要人工判断的工作。” A job like that is best done with a scanner and character recognition, I commented. A scanner would take one-tenth the time. Then your secretaries can pay more attention to tasks requiring human judgment. “詹妮你说的对”，希拉说，“所以你不仅只是做卡梅伦的秘书。我们同样需要你做类似计算机指导方面的工作，给其他所有需要做文字录入工作的女孩做指导。我们需要一个容易相处的人，这样她们不会因为因为害羞或者其他原因，而不主动找你问问题。我们上周五讨论谁来接替洛丝的时候，大家都同意找一个这样的人。所以这个也是詹妮你的工作。卡梅伦是4点下班。詹妮你4点后就到秘书处，和那些秘书前台接待的女孩一起，一直到她们5点下班。你需要帮助那些落后的女孩，提高她们的工作效率。注意你的口气要柔和，不要让她们感到你是在批评她们。你明白我的意思？” “当然。” That's true, Jamie, Sheila said, for the first time abandoning her brassy declarative speaking style. And that's why you won't just be Cameron's receptionist. We'll want to hire you as well as a kind of informal technical adviser to all the girls in the typing pool, all the stenographers. We need someone so easygoing that they never hesitate to ask you to show them the best way to do things like that. When we discussed replacing Rosemond last Friday we both agreed that was desirable. So that's also in your job specs. Cameron's office closes at four. At that time each day you'll drift over to the secretarial pool to join them until they quit at five, help out the girls that've gotten behind, but mainly hint or suggest ways they can finish their work more efficiently when you see what they're doing. Low key, informally, of course, so no one feels they're being criticized. Can you do that Of course. “基于同样的原因，我们希望詹妮你能和她们成为好朋友。每天中午你必须加入她们中的一伙，一起吃午饭，和她们交谈，友善些，詹妮你需要成为她们中的一员。如果她们中某一个想在下班后约你去喝一杯，詹妮你也必须要去。卡梅伦已经同意了如果她们需要你，她会给予你空闲的。当然卡梅伦也会给你找其他事务的。这样安排你满意吗？” For that same reason we want you to become their good friend. You'll join one or another group of them for lunch every day, chat with them, be sociable and helpful, become one of them. If any want to pause for a drink after work, that too. Cameron's agreed to spare you for those obligations, though she'll keep you busy otherwise. Is that satisfactory with you 我点头。让我混在一堆女孩子中间，给她们做计算机方面的指导，我当然乐意。这可是对我的男性魅力的恭维，哈哈。卡梅伦也许是在考验我的忠诚吧，让我和这么多女孩子一起！这个考验确实很残酷～我也不知道能不能通过呢^_^ I nodded. Any job requiring that I mingle with informally with girls in a typing pool had to be satisfactory. Quite flattering to my male ego. Cameron was taking a big chance, testing my fidelity to her that severely! I wasn't sure I was up to it! “詹妮，你该明白，我们需要一个在职的懂计算机的女生来担任指导那些女孩工作，而且卡梅伦需要詹妮你来做替代洛丝。詹妮你能胜任这两个要求，所以我们需要你做两份工作。当然你的工资会适当的提高的。” You see, Jamie, there's another motto we follow here in addition to 'to get along, go along' and so forth. That's 'one hand washes the other.' We need a woman to serve as an in-house computer trainer, and Cameron needs you to replace Rosemond. You're qualified for both jobs, so you'll do both. I agreed, so Cameron agreed. Your salary will be commensurate. 我有些混乱了，我想我现在的表情也是很迷惘吧。她在说什么啊？需要一个女生？“我不是．．．”，我提出异议。 I looked addled, because I felt addled. What was she saying I'm not... I began. “詹妮！我刚说了，我不会听这些方面的！我不想听到任何有关性别、宗教、性倾向等等方面的内容，这是Honeybelle的一个严格规定。好了，现在该让你知道Honeybelle的另一个规定的。我们确实在后勤部门雇佣有男性，但是我们的产品全都是面向女性的。所以我们所有的秘书、前台接待、打字员和其他需要面向公众场合的正式职员，都需要维持我们公司产品的形象，这是一种产品宣传。选择你来做卡梅伦的秘书，是因为你有一张甜美的脸蛋，而且是可以通过使用我们Honeybelle的产品，让詹妮你的脸蛋更漂亮的。我现在已经能看到效果了。所以我们将会教你如何最好的使用Honeybelle的产品，当然这个也是你的工作培训计划之一。我们这有个美容中心，每天你都必须在那一段时间。卡梅伦向我保证过詹妮你会胜任这份工作的！” I told you, Jamie, I'm not allowed to listen! I don't want to know anything about sex, gender, religion, anything like that! Please. Now, there's something else you need to know., a strict company policy. We do hire men as back office people, of course, but our products are made for women. So all of our secretaries, receptionists, typists, and any other of our employees who will be seen by the public are expected to serve as showcases for our products. The Fair Employment people allow us this exception in hiring for just that reason. For you to serve as Cameron's secretaryreceptionist, I needed to know that you have an attractive face that can be enhanced by using Honeybelle. I see that you do. We'll show you how to use our products to best advantage, of course -- tomorrow you'll begin that part of your training. We have a salon where you'll spend a fair part of the day. Cameron assured me you're qualified for the real work, so you are, so that's that! 我还能说什么？我眨了好几次眼睛，意识到我的眼皮因为涂了卡梅伦的什么油，而感到比较沉重。唉，我的一双洋娃娃式的眼睛。 What could I say I blinked a few times, and realized that my lashes were still heavy with the mascara Cameron had laid on to make my eyes look more bold. My doll's eyes. “我希望詹妮你不是一个势利的人，你最好不要比那些女孩有优越感。我们希望无论在哪个角度，都能让她们感到詹妮你是她们中的一份子。所以你需要和她们有相同的爱好和兴趣。每天中午你都要和她们聊天，比如她们的计算机技能、她们的例假、她们的男朋友们，还有流行歌手啊、绯闻啊。当然你也要给她们提供你的类似的故事和话题。哦别担心，卡梅伦会给你建议的。你需要任何手段来和她们变成好朋友，帮助她们建立自信。现在，我需要听到你的保证。你能够在这个环境里，做好你的工作吗？” I do hope you're not a snob, that you won't feel superior to these girls. We want them to feel you're one of them in every respect. So you'll need to take up similar interests and concerns, make them your own. At lunch with them every day you'll chat with them about their problems, their programming skills, their periods, their boyfriends, pop singers, any topic that arises, and you'll share with them whatever similar stories you can -- Cameron will make suggestions. You'll socialize with them in whatever ways may help them build the confidence they'll need to do whatever you suggest they learn to do. Now, I need to hear you say it plainly. Can you work here under these circumstances 希拉在等待我的答复，我不知道说什么。我有一种被出卖的感觉。希拉的意思似乎是，我必须像一个女秘书一样的工作，包括每天使用Honeybelle的女装和化妆品。可是Honeybelle从来不生产男人用的化妆品。而且我也不认为Honeybell从今天起会生产男人用的化妆品。希拉说我需要打扮得像个女生？卡梅伦希望我来Honeybelle工作，肯定是为了我好，为了我们的关系能更进一步，我知道这个，可是！ She paused. I said nothing. I was feeling a little betrayed. She seemed to be saying that I'd need to behave like these secretaries,even wear Honeybelle products to work every day. And Honeybelle doesn't make men's cosmetics. I didn't think they did, anyhow. She was saying I'd need to look like a girl Cameron wanted me to take this job for my own good, for the good of our relationship, I was sure, but still! “如果詹妮你回答是，那么将不能回头了。明天美容中心的女孩就会教会你如何根据你自己的特点，来打扮配装和化妆，如何展示我们Honeybelle的女装和化妆品。这样如果需要你的时候，你可以随时展现出Honeybelle的效果。美容中心将会重新打造你，不会太前卫，但是会让你走在时尚前端。这样你可以更好的融入其他的女孩们。” If you say you can, there'll be no turning back. For example　tomorrow the salon girls will teach you the best ways for you　personally to wear and display whatever we sell, so you exhibit it　and can demonstrate its use if called on.. The salon will want to　remake your look, not too high-styled but a little more stylish　than it is now, just enough so you'll blend in with all the other　girls. 我脑袋快炸了。融入？希拉真的认为我希望看上去像个女孩！还是我现在已经是女孩了？如果这份工作意味着我必须成为一名Office Lady。必须整日穿着女装化妆打扮，在回家之前我都无法换回男人身份？每天我必须和那些女孩一起到5点，那我又怎么赶回家里为卡梅伦准备晚饭？ My mind raced. Blend in She did assume I wanted to look like a　girl! Or that I was one already If this job meant that I have to　spend the day in make-up, how could I get it off before coming　home Loiter after the girls leave at five I suppose, until I'm　alone But then how would I get Cameron's dinner ready 当然如果我工作了，那些家务不会再像以前那样，让我一个人包揽了。我们可以更多在外面的店里吃饭。可是我不能像一个女生样的在外面饭馆吃饭吧？ Well, if I'm working again, that home-making task won't be mine　exclusively any more. We could eat out more. But with me looking　a little effeminate　 “现在你要了解，美容中心做的不是临时性的美容。你应该注意到了，我们的化妆都很精致完美。我们每周都要做头发、脸部和指甲。我注意到了你从来没有弄过指甲。詹妮，你的指甲必须要和你周围的同事一样的漂亮，毫无瑕疵。我们Honeybelle做的美甲实际上都是永久性的，尤其是那些经常需要展示手部的职员，例如秘书。我们需要詹妮你做同样的美甲，这样容易保养。另外，我也注意到你的头发用发夹固定在后面挺可爱的。你的上衣搭配得不错，很符合我们这儿秘书的形象。虽然如此，我们仍然需要重新在总体上设计一下你的发型。更好的展示我们的美发产品。詹妮你看到电梯门面对着的那个女孩了吧，她叫Dana，她的深黑色头发就是使用了我们Honeybelle的美发产品，黑色系的。我个人觉得詹妮你适合使用Honeybelle的金色系美发产品。配合你的瓜子脸，再弄个刘海，就很完美了！你会显得很妩媚、很可爱。不过这些都需要美容中心最后替你做决定了。” Now understand, what they do in that salon is not casual. You've　noticed I'm sure that we're all impeccably groomed. We all have　our hair done weekly and our faces and nails every few weeks, as　necessary. I notice that your nails have never been touched. Well, they'll need to look as nice as the rest of you. Our nail products are practically irremovable and indestructible,especially the ones we target toward hands-on employees like secretaries who need nails that are easy to maintain. I notice too that your hair is rather prettily held back by that scrunchy, and that the scrunchy matches your blouse -- no, that's a shirt, isn't it Well, even so, we'll want to restyle it altogether, to show our own hair products to best advantage. You saw how pretty Dana is, the dark-haired receptionist on this floor who faces the elevators She's wearing our new brunette tone. You'll need to be more of a honey blonde, I'd think, to show yourself to best advantage. And with your pixie face, a cap of curls might well be perfect! So feminine, you'd look adorable. But that'll be for the salon to decide. 我都忘了我戴的是卡梅伦的发夹了！我一般就是用一根橡皮筋绑起我的长发，而不是用卡梅伦这个戴着粉红丝带的发夹！男人不会用这种发夹的！我摸了一下发夹，有点尴尬。还好希拉没有注意到我的表情。 I'd completely forgotten about that scrunchy! I usually gathered my hair in back with ponytail elastics, not with the band of frilly pink ribbon Cameron had handed me! Men don't wear scrunchies! I touched it, a little embarrassed. Sheila seemed not to notice. “美容中心做不到的，我们的培训中心可以，而且所有的药物和器械设备都是免费的。那儿可以做你的职业定位和培训课程，我们一般把培训中心叫做是礼仪学校。刚开始的一周，詹妮你将在礼仪学校里学很多东西。一些事情大多数女生虽然都知道，但是我们有自己的方式，例如我们的秘书需要怎么样的坐姿，走路的姿势，如何接待男性客户和女性客户，这些都要配合着我们Honeybelle的产品的。我们将要在詹妮你身上花很多时间，把你设计为一个我们所有人都为之骄傲的Honeybelle女郎，一个妩媚和优雅的模特。这也是为什么你的第一份合同，就是现在你准备要签的这份合同，是一个六个月的合同。头三个月里詹妮你必须要保证接受我们对你的任何改造和设计。三个月后，如果你希望停止，那么你仍然有三个月的薪水，可以抛弃我们前三个月给你做的改变，如果你希望的话。当然我们更希望詹妮你能成为我们的一员！” What our salon can't accomplish, our clinic can and will, and the treatments and medications they advise are all free to employees. Then there're your orientation and training courses, we call it our Charm School. They'll take up a lot of your time this week. Simple things most girls already know but we have our own ways, how our secretaries need to sit and move, manners when approached by visitors male or female, these all reflect on our products. We'll invest some considerable time making you over into someone we can all be proud of, a Honeybelle girl, a model of femininity and grace. That's why your first contract, the one I'm prepared to sign with you right now, will run for six months, with you guaranteeing us the first three months of your services. After that, if you should want to quit, you'll have three additional months of paid leave to recover whatever you can of the way you were before we hired you. If you want to. Surely you'll agree that that's generous! 希拉从抽屉里拿出一份文件，包括我的简历，刚才做测试用打字出来的稿件。接着她又拿出一份5页的正式合同，一起摆在了我的面前，并递给我一支签字笔。 我不知道该说什么。这份工作有些不可思议，工资很高，可是这份工作也很古怪。为了胜任这份工作，我必须牺牲一些男人的“自尊”，每天白天要化妆、要留长发、穿女装、高跟鞋，要作为女性接受她们的礼仪培训，等等，反正要像一个女孩一样。但是卡梅伦一定早就知道这些的，她依然催促我来应聘这份工作，说明她不会介意的。也许，卡梅伦是在考验我的忠贞？反正我又不是真的女人，有什么可以失去的？ She opened a file on top of her desk and placed my typing test on top of a stack of papers -- I saw that Cameron had given her my resume, because there it was. She pulled out a rather formal looking legal document, five pages of small script, set it in front of me, and laid a pen alongside it. I said nothing. The whole deal sounded very generous to me, but also a little kinky. I'd need to sacrifice a certain amount of masculine ego, apparently wear make-up and a wig during the day and submit to their posture-training, or whatever it was. Seem to be a girl. But Cameron must have known those things and she'd urged me to apply for this job anyhow, so she didn't mind. Maybe she was testing my sincerity What had I to lose 卡梅伦同样也明确的告诉过我，让我接受必要的安排。而且希拉也说了，卡梅伦想要的，她都会得到的。好吧，既然卡梅伦希望我在这样的环境下和她一起工作！ Cameron had also made it clear that she expected me to say and do whatever is necessary, and Sheila had made it equally clear that whatever Cameron wants, she gets. Well, she wanted me working with her even under these circumstances! So I wanted that too. “还有问题？”希拉问我。我摇摇头。 Any questions she asked. I shook my head. “那么这是你的六个月的试用合同。注意里面的健康环节——这将包括皮肤护理，还有任何为了能让詹妮你更好看，而使用的免费化妆品、药品和外科美容手术。同样要注意的是，在试用期间我们只给你一半的工资，但是这已经比你原来工作的工资还要多了。像詹妮你这样的能力，而且愿意来做一个秘书，真的比较少见。特别是詹妮你要为我们这儿的明星卡梅伦工作！” Here's your six-month probationary contract then. Notice the complete health package -- it includes skin care and whatever cosmetic and body surgery seems desirable for you to look your best. Notice too that we're offering you half-again as much salary as your previous employer, because you're at least that much more valuable to us. Someone with your abilities who is willing to work as a mere secretaryreceptionist among the others is rare indeed. Especially if that someone comes to us sponsored by our brightest rising star! 我看着这份合同，和旁边的签字笔。即时只有一半工资，也是一份很高额薪水的工作了，正在等待着我的签名！试用期过后，更是比我原先的工资多多了，我有些心动了。 I looked at the contract, lying on the desk under my nose, and at the pen alongside it. It added up to a huge amount of money, and it was sitting on that desk and waiting only for my signature! Infinitely more money than I'm earning now, I thought ruefully. “我签合同之后，要做些什么？” When I sign, what happens “我将会马上把你送到楼上，开始你一天的工作。卡梅伦将会告诉你细节，你只要照她的吩咐做事就可以了。卡梅伦总是得到她想要的。明天我们将重新设计你，让你更适合这份秘书的形象。就像我提过的，美容中心、礼仪学校和医务中心。明天卡梅伦将不需要你来帮她，不过很快，在周三的时候詹妮你将回到卡梅伦的办公室，以一个全新的形象。当卡梅伦让你去和其他的打字员和秘书前台接待互相熟悉时，你必须要马上能融入她们。明天，也就是周二，对你的处理也许会让你感到有些虚弱，不过对我们这种工作的，感到有些虚弱也是正常的。 I'll send you upstairs immediately to start your day's work. Cameron will no doubt tell you specifically what she requires, and you'll do whatever she asks of you. Cameron gets what she wants. Then tomorrow we'll retrofit you for the job, so to speak, as I've described it. Salon, clinic, and training center. Cameron will have to do without you all day tomorrow, but you'll be quite a different person when you resume with her on Wednesday. When she sends you to get acquainted with the other typists and receptionists you'll fit right in by Wednesday. You may still feel a little woozy from Tuesday's procedures, but ditzy behavior never hurts when you're dealing with that age group.  “如果三个月后，我不喜欢这份工作，我仍然能得到三个月的工资？虽然我什么也不用做？这样我能有什么损失？” And if I don't like the job, after three months I'll be paid for three more months while I undo everything What did I have to lose “这也是卡梅伦希望的吗？” This is what Cameron wants “是的，而且这也是卡梅伦的意愿，詹妮。” While you undo what can be undone. And yes, it's precisely what Cameron wants, Jamie. 我甚至没有读那份合同。卡梅伦总是得到她想要的，而我想要得到卡梅伦。我拿起签字笔，依照指示，在合同最后一页上签字。 I didn't even read the contract. Cameron gets what she wants, and I wanted Cameron. So why not I picked up the pen and signed on the last page, as indicated. “这儿要签”，希拉说，“这儿，还有这儿！”。我按照她的要求签了字。“现在在这儿写上你的名字，先是签詹姆，再是签詹妮！”我也照做了，心里疑惑着，但是没开口问。 And here, Sheila said. And here! And here too! And initials here! I did as she asked. Now on this sheet sign 'Jamie' here,not 'James.' I did, wondering why. 现在希拉笑了，“好了，现在“詹妮”就是你的正式合法的称呼了。这就可以让其他所有的签名具有法律效力了。我们的律师将在明天前往法院，完成你成为詹妮的一切法律手续。祝贺你！亲爱的，你现在是一个Honeybelle女郎了，至少在这三个月里！欢迎加入我们！” Then she grinned broadly. There, now you're officially 'Jamie.' and that makes all the other signatures legal. Our lawyer will file the name change at the court house tomorrow, but it's done! Congratulations, dear, you're a Honeybelle girl now, at least for the next three months! Welcome to the firm! 一个Honeybelle女郎？这个称呼是什么含义啊？可能是Honeybelle对性别真的很不关注吧。我想在这个环境下，我将会变得很女人气，每天都要使用Honeybelle的化妆品。 A Honeybelle what Was that just a figure of speech More likely it was the indifference to gender her job required. I'd be girly enough, I supposed, what with wearing Honeybelle cosmetics all day long. 希拉重新检查了一遍我的签名，在最后一页盖上了公证，并递给我一份合同备份。“詹妮，你太可爱了！”，她说，“你父母起名字的时候，叫你詹姆，可能就是为了方便你改名叫詹妮吧。这样改名之后，不管谁打电话进来，都不会怀疑是你在接听电话了。当然你需要做一些发声训练。每天和我们女孩一起，应该也会让你的声音越来越柔和的。你要像我这样的说话，‘您好~,Honeybelle~,卡梅伦女士的办公室~,我是詹妮~’，经常练习，就会自然了。” She co-signed or witnessed each signature, then clamped a notary's seal on the last page and handed me a copy. Just lovely, Jamie! she said. Your parents certainly created a chance for confusion when they named you 'James.' But with this name-change on the record no one will doubt who you are when you answer the phone. A little voice training will help too, but I suspect just being among the girls day after day will put a bit more sweetness into the way you sound. You'll say 'Honeybelle, Ms. Cameron's office, Jamie speaking,' so often it'll become second nature. “啊，希拉，你认为我．．．？” Ahh, Sheila, do you think that I.... 希拉看了看我。眼神像是穿透我一般的锐利！然后她转开去整理这些合同，很平静的对我说，“我不认为，詹妮，但是我知道。她们给我工资，就是因为我能知道一些事情。而我知道的，就是这合同上写的。你今晚自己读一遍吧！” Sheila paused from her gracious commentary and eyed me closely, for just one moment. Penetratingly! Then she turned away, and as she stowed her copies she said in level tones, I don't think, Jamie, I know. I'm paid to know things. What I know is what this contract says. Read it yourself tonight! 她拉过我的手臂，像是鼓励我。“还有一两件事情，亲爱的。明天我们就要开始改造你的身体营养构成，当然同时还要做美容美体。那些拜访和参观我们秘书处的男人们，都很希望看到的是精心护理过的，比较养眼的秘书和接待员。詹妮你的胸部和臀部有些太．．．怎么说呢，有些太平淡了。不过不用担心，我们的医务中心将会使你的身材比例很快完美起来的。” She laid her hand on my arm, reassuringly it seemed. Just one or two more things, honey. Tomorrow we begin your body modification regimen along with your beauty treatments, so you'll ...ahhh ...curve more invitingly in the right places. Men who visit our administrative offices like to see secretaries and receptionists who are well-turned out. Your breasts and hips are rather ... ungenerous at the moment, but certain clinical procedures can change those proportions fairly quickly. 这个可是不得了的事情。我警觉起来，“希拉，等等！” This sounded serious. I got alarmed. Sheila, listen! 希拉没有停止她的叙述，这是她对新职员的人事指导。她大概是每次都这么对新职员说的，那么流利，所以没有想到这次的新职员是我，而不是那些女孩？可是她总不会一直都错认为我是个女人吧？难得是这些卡梅伦的化妆的效果？还有头发上的发夹？ She didn't. Instead, she continued with what I realized was her set personnel orientation speech. Maybe she'd delivered it so often that she didn't even notice how inappropriate it was in my case Had she really mistaken me for a woman the whole time That damned makeup Cameron had put on me And this scrunchy 还有卡梅伦的漆皮裤？我的外衣已经拉开了，我往下看，发现我的下体处被漆皮裤包裹得很紧密，从腹股沟处直接通到了下体，中间没有任何．．．什么也没有！没有男人的鼓起，只是一个女人的V字形！那件内裤的弹性纤维布料紧紧的按住了我远比常人小的男根和睾丸，从外面看，似乎下体下面什么也没有．．． 这条漆皮裤是这么紧密贴合着，更加突出了我的下面真的是没有任何凸起！就算我现在跟希拉说我是个男人，她会相信我吗？我看到她也看向了我的下体，表情很冷淡！因为她在我的下体并没有发现什么不该有的东西吧。 And Cameron's slacks My jacket had fallen open, and as I looked down I saw that in my sitting position their tight cut swept across my groin down to my crotch to reveal ... nothing! No bulge. A woman's 'V'! Those lycra panties held my cock and balls back under and out of sight so efficiently that down there was ... nothing at all. And the slacks revealed that fact shamelessly! If I insisted now that I was a man, why would she believe me I saw she'd followed my line of sight and had glanced indifferently at my crotch! And seen no more there than she expected to see. 然后希拉看着我的脸，继续用她的职业式的口吻说，“如果三个月试用期后你打算继续，我们将会提供你一个五年的合同，五年后还可以优先续签，如果你能同意接受一个更加全面和完整的再改造和培训的话。这个新的改造将不仅仅让你更加漂亮，而且还会增强你的性欲。我们这里那些已经结婚的女人们都是最让丈夫们满意的，我听说——因为那些丈夫们完全没有精力在外面沾花惹草了。甚至有一个Honeybelle女生告诉我们，她在一天晚上和五个男人做爱过，整个过程像女王一样的享受，而且她之后还想要和第六个男人做爱。当然她的丈夫需要有些调整了，因为他根本无法满足她，只能默认了她在外面交很多男友。而且她丈夫也承认了他为他的妻子骄傲。也许詹妮你也会成为这样的一个Honeybelle女郎。” Then she looked back at my face, her own still registering impersonal cordiality. If after your probationary three months you agree to continue, we'll go further. We'll offer you a new contract for five years with an option to renew, if you'll agree to submit to a more thoroughgoing reorienting. We'll not only greatly enhance your desirability, the girls tell me the treatments also enhance desire. Our married women have the most satisfied husbands in town, I hear -- and those husbands who can't keep up with their wives don't seem to mind it if the wives seek supplementary attention elsewhere. One woman took on five men in a single evening and felt as regal as a queen the whole time and just as horny afterward, she told us. Her husband needed some attitude adjustment, but he did finally admit he was proud of her. You may not be that kind of girl of course. 这个太极端了，比女装、化妆、和女孩们做姐妹之类更加让我难以接受。也许我错了？我艰难的答复希拉，“如果我现在不同意这些条件会怎么样？如果我现在就直接离开这里？” This was more extreme than wearing make-up and fraternizing with young girls. Had I made a mistake I found my voice. What happens if I agree to none of this now, Sheila If I just walk out 希拉看上去被吓住了！“什么？你刚签了合同的！你要毁约？毁掉这么好的工作！而且我必须公布这个事件，你将不会在其他地方得到工作合同！想想吧，我们将不得不把詹妮你的名字公布在国家劳动力数据库中！而且卡梅伦会怎么想你！这份工作就是为你准备的！你不可能真的想毁约吧！” Sheila looked shocked! Why, you've signed! You'll be in breach of contract and out of a highly desirable job! And I must add, unemployable anywhere else ever! Think what sort of reference we'd be forced to enter under your name in the national employment database we use! To say nothing about how Cameron would feel about it! This job was tailored for you! You can't mean it! 我想我和希拉交流不了了。她太教条了，总是根据公司的条款来做事！我笑了笑，向她保证我没有毁约的意思。卡梅伦会告诉我在Honeybelle里，哪些规矩必须遵守，而哪一些规矩是可以改变的。 Sheila was not the person I had to talk to, I saw. She was far too proper, too company-rules oriented! I smiled at her reassuringly. Cameron would tell me which rules were inflexible and which ones bent. “哦，我知道了，你想吓吓我！好吧，我承认你吓到我了！我最好现在就把你派到卡梅伦那。最后还有一件事．．．”，希拉又看了一眼我的下体，然后陪着我走到门口，“我们对服装有严格的要求，亲爱的，在工作时间不能穿漆皮裤，虽然你这件漆皮裤很考究也很性感。这儿不允许穿这样突显下体和臀部的服装——詹妮你的这件漆皮裤真的把这两个地方都衬托出来了。一般穿裙子和衬衣就可以了。如果你想戴项链的话，上衣可以有些开叉的，但是不能太暴露胸部了。这些都在手册上写着，你好好读读吧！你的新办公室是在10层，卡梅伦肯定在等着你了！那么再见吧，詹妮，再次欢迎加入Honeybelle！” Oh, I see! You wanted to shake me up a little! Well, you certainly did! I'd better let you get to where Cameron needs you! One more thing only.... She glanced once again at my crotch and then rose to walk me to the door. I stood up and followed. We have a strict dress code here, honey! No more slacks during working hours, not even slacks as dressy and provocative as the ones you're wearing! No crotches or rounded rear ends -- and yours are both very becoming, incidentally. Skirts and blouses and dresses only. If you fancy a low neckline, only a hint of cleavage! It's all in this handbook, read it! Your new office is on the tenth floor, and I'm sure Cameron's waiting for you! Goodbye for now, Jamie, and again, welcome to Honeybelle. 我走到电梯前，心里想着自己是不是太匆忙了，好像忘了些什么。希拉从身后追上来，把那个化妆包递给我。“亲爱的，你忘了包包了！”。把化妆包递给我的时候，希拉脸上露出一丝狡猾的笑容，“你会爱上这个地方的”，她说，“无论你现在想什么，三个月后你会为现在的决定高兴的！没人后悔过加入Honeybelle。” As I walked to the elevator, wondering if I'd been too hasty and what to do about it, she came running after me. Honey, you forgot your purse! she called out. And as she handed it to me she gave me a wry, sly smile, as if she'd just eaten a cage full of canaries! You'll love it here, she said. Whatever you're thinking now, in three months you won't want it any other way! No one ever does. 我不知道这个论断是一个安慰，还是一个打击，但是我已经决定照做了，看看接下来会发生什么。 I found that statement consoling and depressing all at once, but I'd already decided to go with the flow and see what happens. ＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊第三集 电梯来到10层，我走出电梯门，发现卡梅伦已经在厅里等着我了。 iii. When the elevator opened on the tenth floor and I got out, Cameron was waiting for me in the lobby. “卡梅伦”，我着急的想向她澄清希拉之前对我的误会。 Cameron, I began, eager to get any misunderstandings straightened out at once. “在这栋楼里，詹妮你要称呼我卡梅伦女士！不要忘记了！现在我可以看看你签的合同吗？” In this building I'm Ms. Cameron to you, Jamie! Never forget that! May I see your copy of the contract you signed She held out her hand. “是的，当然可以！”我把合同递给她，声音也低了下来。 Yes, of course! I handed it to here, subdued. 她翻看了一下合同，然后看着我，“有件事情你必须清楚。这是我们对所有女性职员做的标准合同，而詹妮你，每一项都签字了。难道你认为我们在开玩笑吗？我们是生产和销售美容产品的。合同里说了，你已经同意做为我们的女模特！我们将对你做美容护理，包括医疗手段，将你打造成一个最性感的女人！而且，“詹妮”将是你的真正有法律效力的名字，不再是“詹姆”了，所以我们得向“詹姆”说永别了！嗯，明天就要开始全面的改造了——美容中心将会用我们的春季系列化妆品重新为你设计形象，包括一头金发。而且，我看到合同上还写了，明天开始，詹妮你将注射三个月的女性荷尔蒙，用来改进你的皮肤和身材，包括隆乳手术。还有声带手术，声音训练，你将要学会怎么在电话里用那种诱人骟情的声音来和客户交谈——你知道我们需要这样的秘书。是的，任何一项可以让你更好的融入那些女孩的手段，你都签字同意了，这可以让你尽快的成为她们中的一员的。我们这里对职员的改造有两种，一种是针对那些就为了在这混日子的，另一种就是针对那些希望在Honeybelle做出一番事业的。对后者我们所做的很多改造都是永久性的。很想知道詹妮你选择哪一种。詹妮你这么想看上去像一个女明星吗？你没有对合同里任何一项做谈判？我看到合同里你已经同意了所有的改造计划！” She studied it briefly, and then looked at me. Let's be clear about this. Here are all the standard clauses for our women employees, and you signed every one of them, Jamie. Did you think we were just fooling around We manufacture and market beauty products. This says you've agreed to model them for us while you work here! It gives our beauty consultants and medical staff full authority to re-make you into the most attractive woman they think you can be. Here and here! Moreover, Jamie is now your legal given name, here's where James signed it over. Goodbye James! What else Tomorrow a complete makeover -- the salon will harmonize your appearance with our Spring cosmetics campaign, which happens to have as its motto, No girl can ever be too blonde. Also, I see, tomorrow you'll begin your three-month hormone regimen for skin tone, body reshaping, and breast augmentation. And voice training, you'll learn to moan into the phone as if you were in heat -- we like our junior staff to sound that way. Let's see, yes, the whole range of whatever's needed to fit you in with the girls in the typing pool, so they'll feel you're one of them. We have two kinds of makeover, adaptive for employees who just want to work here and intensive for those who want to make their careers here. With intensive many of the changes are permanent. Guess which one you chose. Were you so eager to look like a starlet, Jamie You didn't negotiate out of any of these conditions I see you agreed to the full array! “卡梅伦!．．．” Cameron...! 她盯着我。 She glared at me. “卡梅伦女士，我还以为希拉准备的合同是适合我的。你事先不是和希拉讨论过方案吗？什么是适合我的和不适合我的？我还以为希拉应该知道我是个男人，可是现在我很混乱了。当我签字时，我以为希拉明白我不是个女人。现在才知道她把我当成女职员招聘进来了！” Ms. Cameron, I figured this Sheila knew what was appropriate. You discussed things with her, didn't you What was suitable for me and what not I thought she knew I was a man, but it was confusing. When I signed, it became clear that she assumed I was a woman and was being hired as a woman! “当然！因为当你签字的时候，你就变成一个女人了！至少是在今后的这三个月里，詹妮！而且三个月后你肯定会变成一个女人。希拉没有和你提到毁约的后果吗？” “她说我将会不再被任何公司雇佣了！” Of course! Because when you signed, that's what you became! That's what you are for the next three months, Jamie! That's what you'll certainly be by the end of the three months. Did Sheila happen to mention what happens if you try to break this contract She said I'd become unemployable! 是的！不管在北美还是欧洲，我们将公布你为不可靠的职员。当然在目前为止，还没有任何一个Honeybelle的职员毁约过。我们也不想放职员离开，因为她们知道Honeybelle的商业秘密。詹妮你认为，我们的这些女孩在三个月试用期后，一般都会做什么吗？” “我不知道。” Correct! Anywhere in America or Europe, we have branches everywhere, and we belong to all sorts of consortia for identifying unreliable employees. Though no one ever wants to leave us for employment elsewhere anyhow. And we don't want them to, if only to keep our trade secrets secret. What do you think our girls usually do when they've finished their probationary three months I don't know. 卡梅伦生气了吗？我不清楚。“天啊~亲爱的！你不知道？所有的女孩都续签了！所有的！5年的完整合同！而且管理层从来没有强迫过她们！所有人都爱上了这里！我们提供给女孩们各种引诱和刺激，鼓励她们，不管是私人的、社交的、性欲的还是其他的！我看到你已经同意了每周都要花很多时间和那些女孩在一起！好吧，你会爱上这种生活的。我的甜心，在你的女式内裤下面可是有男人的睾丸的，我知道这点，是因为今天早上我还看到。可是现在，你可以对它说再见了。” Was she angry Annoyed I couldn't tell. My dear! You have no idea They always sign up again! Always! For the full five years! And management never needs to urge anything! Everyone loves it here! We encourage them to provide each other all sorts of inducements and gratifications, personal, social, sexual, whatever! I see you're committed to spend hours and hours weekly with other women at your level! Well, you'll love it! Sweetheart, somewhere inside your panties are a man's balls, I know because I saw them there this morning. But right now you can bend over and kiss them goodbye. From now on they'll only be in your way. 卡梅伦停顿了一下，很开心的说，“我看到你甚至同意了那些附加条款，包括周末的一个课程，怎么样去吸引男人！对你来说这肯定很棒！那些上过这个课程的女孩们对我说过，那些技巧真的是很勾引男人！ She paused, and her voice sounded amused. I see you've even signed up for the optional weekend retreat in how to attract men! she noted. That'll be nice for you! From what the girls tell me,the field trips are unforgettable! “卡梅伦女士！”我被吓坏了！我都做了些什么啊？现在我还能反悔吗？ Ms. Cameron, please! I was distraught! What had I done How could I get out of this 终于，卡梅伦有些同情我了。“唉，詹妮，我们今晚再讨论这些吧”，她说，“也许有些事情你还不了解。坐到你的位子上吧，看看洛丝留下的文件，你要安排我今天的行程，还有明天的，因为你明天要去接受一整天的美容和医疗护理！明天晚上我带你去购物，相信我，明天以后你将会成为一个真的女人了，那样你需要购买很多新的衣服。三个月后，你就会有一个全新的身份了。” Finally she took pity on me. Well, Jamie, we'll talk about all　this tonight, she said. Maybe you didn't understand a few　things. Settle yourself at your desk and look over Rosemond's　notes to her successor and see if you can prepare my schedule for　the rest of today and for all day tomorrow, because you'll be　getting your first beauty and clinic treatments all day tomorrow! Tomorrow evening I'll take you shopping, because believe me, after　tomorrow there'll be no mistaking what you've become, and you'll　need a whole new wardrobe. Then when the three months are up　you'll have a whole new figure. 她踩着高跟鞋，不再理我，转身走回她自己办公室。在那一刻，我感到从所未有的疏远，我已经得不到她了。 She turned on a high heel and walked imperiously back into her　office. She'd never seemed further away from me than that moment.,altogether out of reach. 我刚坐下，电话就响了。我拿起话筒，想到了该怎么回应，“Honeybelle，卡梅伦女士的办公室”，我有些轻声说，“我是詹妮。” “Hello，詹妮，我是希拉，现在卡梅伦有空吗？你的声音有改进了！我相信你很快就会熟悉这一切的！” Hello, Jamie, this is Sheila, is Cameron available Your voice already sounds much improved, dear! I'm sure you'll feel quite comfortable with everything in no time at all! ＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊ “稍等一下！”，我在电话上找到了转换键，按下它。当我听到卡梅伦在里屋接了电话后，我就轻轻的把话筒放下了。 Just a moment! I said, found a buzzer on the phone, and pressed it. Then when I heard Cameron pick up I looked for a switch to cut off their conversation so I could hang up silently. 可是我没找到那个切断键，这样，我听到卡梅伦和希拉正在讨论我的事情了。 I couldn't find one, and meanwhile they exchanged comments. “Cameron ，你知道了吧，和你想的一样，他签了所有条款。他应该知道，会谈时打断我的安排是很无礼的。真令人愉快。” Cameron, I'm sure you know, he bought the whole package. Just as you'd hoped. He must have thought it impolite to interrupt me with questions when he wasn't sure what I was arranging. Isn't that wonderful “是的，他很值得信任，明天我们就把这个纯洁的小姑娘阉了。加里那边再不会有什么麻烦了。简直不可想象，要是让加里知道我乘他不在的时候和一个男人住在一起。等他从欧洲回来，一定会把他杀掉病和我分手的。虽然詹妮很温顺可爱，如果不阉了他，加里可不会相信他在我那只是作为一个女管家和侍女！” Yes, he's so trusting. So tomorrow we'll gild the lily, then geld（阉割） it, and that will be that. No more potential problems with Gary. Imagine what Gary'd have done if he found out I've been living with　another man since we got engaged and he went off to do that　European thing of his. Killed Jamie and broken off with me without　another word spoken. No way would he believe I took him on as my　housekeeper and personal maid and no more than that, that Jamie was　just too sweet and docile and eager and convenient to turn away. “是呀，谁也不会相信有这样的侍女的”，希拉补充到。 Who'd believe such a man exists Sheila commented. “好了，等加里回家，那时候的詹妮在他眼里就是一个合格的女仆了。谁也不会相信他曾是男人，如果詹妮以前那样也可以成为男人的话。所以詹妮和我都安全了。以后我和加里结了婚，詹妮也有自己的工作了，做我的女秘书对于詹妮来说，简直是最合适的工作了，他现在还有点不情愿，但以后一定会喜欢这样子的”。 Well, now by the time Gary gets back he won't, it won't occur to　him that the girl who looks after my place for me was once a real　man. If Jamie ever was a real man. So I'm safe and Jamie's safe　too. And he has a job now to tide him over when Gary comes back　and we get married and move away. And anyhow, I'm sure that being　a girl will provide him a more appropriate kind of life. It's　perfect for him. Yet here he is, still hoping that he hasn't yet　too much compromised his masculinity. It's kind of sweet. “也许把，Cameron，我说，比起那个你最近这样甩掉的男朋友，那个鲍勃，或者芭比，管他现在叫做什么，反正他现在已经嫁给了西海岸的一个同性恋会计师了。詹姆显得更适合这种处理，他看上去简直太女子气了，美容院和医疗中心处理他不会有什么难度。” Maybe so, Cameron. I must say, he's more suitable than that last　boy friend you blew off this way, Bob, or Barbie, whatever his name　is now, the one who finished up with huge boobs and married a gay　accountant on the West Coast. This one looks girly already, and　the salon and clinic haven't even begun with him. “是呀，他们已经有鲍勃的经验了，不想他们不会搞不定詹妮的。他是如此可爱，哦不，应该称为她，他会成为一个可爱的女孩子。谢谢你！希拉。” Yes, it worked with Bob, so I couldn't imagine it wouldn't work　with Jamie. He's such a dear! Or she is! He'll be a lovely girl! 　I owe you one, Sheila! “我也谢谢你，Cameron。公司早就要求我招聘一名能与女孩们融洽相处的电脑工程师，但是女性电脑工程师太少了，这样的安排真是完美。公司还要求我们关注中性、第三性、同性恋等方面的市场领域，我们这方面的模特和宣传太少了，这是个好的开始。你的詹妮可以成为公司这方面新产品的代言人，如果她明天愿意去美容院的话。我希望她能去。” Well, I owe you too, Cameron. Management's been urging me to hire a computer techie the girls can feel comfortable with, and there　are so few women in the field! This arrangement's perfect. Then　too, they asked us to look into ways we can appeal to the　metrosexual and transgendered market, every few points of market　share helps, and this is a beginning. Your Jamie could end up a　corporate logo for new products if she comes out of the salon　tomorrow looking the way I expect she will. “大概把，我也希望她去。” Maybe. I hope so. “加里最近如何，他快回来了吧？” So tell me more about Gary. He's due back soon “就这几个星期吧。不过这段时间足够让詹妮变成不会让加里吃醋生气的那种人。几个月后要举行婚礼，到时我们的新房也布置好了。我会留詹妮一直住到那时，然后再让她搬进自己的公寓过她自己的生活。她一直迷恋着我，可怜的甜心，这当然不是她的错，我觉得我有点亏欠她。所以我才喜欢你的这个主意，把她安排到这么多的女孩子里。我结婚之后，我不想让她觉得自己失恋了，或者抑郁、在我附近徘徊、虚度光阴，令加里不快，或者闹出其它什么不愉快的事情来。” In only a few weeks. Just time enough to get Jamie past the point　where Gary might worry about him. The wedding won't be for a few　more months, not until our new house is ready and fully furnished. 　So I'll keep Jamie with me till then, then settle her into her own　apartment and out of my life. She's always doted on me, the poor　dear, and I can't fault her for that. So I suppose I owe her. 　That's why I liked your idea, distract her by putting her in with　lots of other girls until after I'm married. I don't want her　feeling lovelorn, or loitering or stalking me, or offending Gary,　or getting moody, or making any kind of trouble like that. “不会，那些女孩子会帮助他走上正轨，他不会有这些麻烦的。” No, the girls will keep him occupied. He has such trouble　disagreeing with anyone or breaking ranks that I'm sure they'll　keep him in line. “我想我要向他抱歉，为我们要这样子对他。他是如此的可怜，一定要搬到我那里来，还做了一个完美的女仆该做的一切。但是加里是不会明白的，一旦妒火中烧他会暴走．．．他会怎样对待这个可怜的家伙呢？对于詹妮，还是这样安全些！” I suppose I should regret what we're doing to him. But he was so　pathetically insistent on moving in with me. And he provided such　excellent maid service! But Gary would never understand, and when　Gary's jealous he can be so ... physical. What he'd do to the poor　thing Jamie's much safer this way! “确实，这样你们才安全，否则一旦加里和你生活，一定会有很多麻烦。这样你成了她的老板，她还有什么说的？而且不这样处理的话，打字室里的女孩们就危险了。想想看他们接触的这么密切，他教她们计算机，她们告诉他自己的一切。我相信用不了多久他就能得到他一直想得到的女孩子们的阴户。” True. Safer and also out of your hair, quite unlikely to make　problems when Gary comes back into your life. You're her boss,　what can she say Then too, some of the girls in the typing pool　can be quite venturesome. As he teaches them about computers　they'll teach him about themselves. I'm sure he'll soon be getting　all the pussy he could ever want. “他只能舔一舔那些女孩子们的阴户。不管怎样，一旦荷尔蒙发挥作用，他的小鸡鸡就会变软了。”Cameron 说，“很快”。 Eating all the pussy he'll ever want, anyhow, once the clinic's　hormones take hold and his cock goes limp, Cameron said. Soon　enough. “是的，接着他就会和那些女孩一样，期待的是心爱男人的大鸡巴。这些大鸡巴比他现在身上那条小肉虫强地太多了，足够填充他自己失去小鸡鸡产生的空虚感。我敢打赌，一旦三个月试用期后，詹妮一定会希望拥有自己的阴户。就像以前那个鲍勃，不是吗？她当时完全变成了芭比，接着调到了西海岸的办事处，并在那个嫁了人。” Yes. Then getting all the cock he'll ever want too as the girls　introduce him to their favorite men. That'll more than make up for　the loss of his own. Chances are when your Jamie's three month　probation ends she'll want her own pussy. I've seen it before. Who wouldn't Didn't your friend Bob I seem to recall she was　fully equipped by the time she became Barbie and transferred to the　West Coast office and finally got married. “鲍勃？是的，他一直不愿意成为芭比，直到拥有了那对巨乳才促使他重新考虑自己的性别，在这里他完成了性别重置。一旦他学了如何吸引男人，他就希望拥有一个阴道，一旦他拥有了阴道，试了几次之后就再也离不开男人了。” 'Bob,' yes. He didn't become 'Barbie' until his breasts came in　and he was forced to rethink things. Yes, he got himself sexually　reassigned while he was still here. Once he learned how to attract　men he wanted a cunt, and once he had a cunt and got himself laid　a few times there was no stopping him. “哦，是的。我还记得是我去帮他变更了个人纪录的，从此整个西海岸没人知道他的过去了。” Oh yes, I remember now how I changed all his personnel records so　no one on the West Coast would know. “是的，希拉。继续这个话题，我记得好像你处理鲍勃的转变比以前处理杰弗时轻松多了。” You did, Sheila. And while we're on the topic, you made Bob's　transition a lot easier than Jeff's as I recall.　 希拉吃吃的笑，“是的，处理杰弗时手段是有点猛烈，当然啦，谁叫他要和我离婚的”。 Sheila chuckled. Yes, I was a little hard on Jeff maybe. But he　deserved it. He couldn't give me that divorce.　 “希拉，他不知道你是个女同性恋！他以为你和其他男人红杏出墙呢！我一直告诉你，男人一旦知道妻子和其他男人性交，就会极端暴怒！当你和他说他不行了，他的发狂并不奇怪。” Sheila, he didn't know you were a lesbian! He thought you were　sleeping around with other men! I kept telling you, men feel　threatened when their wives fuck other men! They get furious! No　wonder he went crazy when you told him he didn't measure up. “Cameron，他是如此狂暴，我不得不给他服了镇静剂！” Cameron, he got so violent I had to sedate him! “是的，我记得。但是接着你把他送进医疗中心把他的乳房隆了，你就不是‘不得不’了，当他醒来看到自己原先是睾丸的地方成了女人的阴户就怪不得他发怒了。” Yes, I remember. But then while he was sedated you didn't have to　pump up his breasts and push him through the clinic as a special　project, so when he woke up all he saw was a pussy where his balls　had been. Talk about the tantrum he threw then “我只是为了保护自己”，希拉有点残忍地说。 I had to protect myself, Sheila said a little truculently. “大错特错了，我当时警告你，你必须把他单独关在中部那个不知名地方的妓院里。把他捆在他自己的床上，直到他平静下来，” Big mistake. I warned you. You had to keep him incommunicado till he calmed down, tied to his bed in that brothel where you sent him, in the middle of nowhere. “不是什么不知名的地方，是墨西哥城。” Not nowhere. Mexico. “是的，大约一个月之后，他的伤口愈合了，但是仍然很虚弱，你接受鸨母的建议，让他连续三个晚上接受三个性奴调教师的调教，他们教他如何用嘴巴、乳房、阴户、双手、屁股取悦男人，之后他才终于屈服了，从此他再也不能签署离婚书来摆脱你了。” Yes. Then a month or so later, when he was healed but still weak from all that inactivity, you took the Madame's advice and brought in three different hunks on three successive nights, and they each taught him how to appreciate men with his mouth and his boobs and his pussy and his ass and with both hands. And that finally calmed him down. After that he couldn't sign the divorce papers to be rid of you fast enough! “那是，我给了他快乐。我听说他还嫌一直得不到足够的鸡巴呢。有些女孩就是喜欢鸡巴——你觉得詹妮是不是其中之一？不过我们要小心了，詹妮可能在听我们说话。” That's right. I did him a favor. I hear he still can't get enough cock. Some girls are like that -- who knew he was one of those But we should be careful, Cameron. Jamie may be listening. “听了又有什么？她已经签了合同！如果她向加里表示她实际上不是个女孩子，加里觉得自己被他戴了绿帽子，一定会杀了他。现在开始她必须成为一名女孩。我们都会真正宠爱他的。你在听着吗，詹妮甜心？” What difference would that make now She's under contract. And if she ever hints to Gary that she isn't a girl, he'll kill her. She has to be a girl now. We've both done her a favor, really. Are you listening, Jamie honey 我不敢接话，找到了电话转换键，赶紧切了过去，挂上电话。接着我开始思考。 I found the switch, flicked it, and hung up. And did some thinking. 我不能责怪Cameron。我硬要塞进她的生活，她不忍心拒绝我，也不忍心拒绝我提供的无偿家务活。希拉也没错，我能走能跑，没人强迫我。现在我必须选择，要么以后永久性失业，隐名换姓，然后离开这里；要么接受这个合同，改变我的身份，按照她们的安排继续下去。 I couldn't blame Cameron. I'd foisted myself on her I guess, and she didn't have the heart to turn me down, nor to turn down all of my unpaid domestic help. And Sheila wasn't wrong either. I could run or stay. I had to decide, should I make myself permanently unemployable, change my identity, and leave town, or should I stay with the present arrangement, change my identity, and go with the flow. 这并没有什么可以选择的．那天晚上我没有和Cameron说任何事情，接着第二天早上我被送到了Honeybelle 的美容院，完全接受了她们对我的改变，下午我就在那里变成了一个金发碧眼的标准的Honeybelle 女郎。 There wasn't much to decide, as I saw it. That night I said nothing to Cameron, and the next morning I reported to the Honeybelle salon and emerged that afternoon golden blonde and curly-headed, altogether altered, a true Honeybelle girl they said. 接着我被送到了医疗中心，在那里我接受了注射，胸部和臀部立刻被塞的满满的。当我苏醒后，感到很虚弱和迷茫。一个护士把我带到了打字室，向女孩们介绍了我的新身份，我很容易地被她们接纳了。那个晚上Cameron带我去购物，买了大量的可爱的小玩意儿，胸罩、吊袜带、丝袜、女式内衣裤、高跟鞋什么的。一路上我只会吃吃地傻笑。 Then I went to the clinic and they shot me full of stuff that made　me feel woozy and mellow and horny all at once. When I recovered　but was still all silly and giggly, one of the nurses brought me　down to the typing pool and introduced me around. I fit right in. 　That evening I had a marvelous time shopping with Cameron, still　giggly, buying all sorts of lovely things. 接下来的几个月，我开始广受欢迎了。也许我的身体确实很女子气，比较适应雌性激素，荷尔蒙对我的身体没有带来什么不良影响，，只在头两个星期早上有点呕吐感。我为Cameron打字和整理资料、安排工作日程。我还教女孩子们各种电脑快捷键帮助她们提高工作效率。 Over the next several months, I got to be very popular. My morning sickness didn't last long, only about two weeks, no problem. I did Cameron's typing and filing, and kept her appointments, and I taught the girls all sorts of short-cuts helpful to their work. 加里回来了，Cameron 的空闲时间都和他在一起过两人生活。一些女孩知道我曾经是个男人，在我还能勃起的时候，她们会带我回家。“真可爱！虽然小了点，硬度也不行，比自慰还是强多了，就像温暖的假阳具”，其中一个和我这样说，“还不用担心会怀孕”。 Gary returned from wherever he'd been and Cameron began to spend　all her free time with him. But by then it didn't bother me. Some　of the girls knew I'd once been a man, and they took me home while　I could still get erections. You're my lovely warm dildo, one of　them said to me. With no long-term complications to worry about. 其他几个没有和我上床，但是一旦有一个女孩开始命令我跪在她的办公桌下替她吮吸舔吻阴户，而我又表现地很顺从，所有女孩都要我这样做了。和女孩们上第一次蛙泳课时，简直难以置信，我发现这个月我的乳头开始变大变硬同时鸡巴越来越软、越来越小。 Some of the others never did catch on, but when one ordered me to　suck and lick her while she sat at her desk, because I seemed　submissive enough, others did too. Meanwhile, my nipples puffed up　and my cock softened, and my first breast stroking sessions with　other girls were incredible!. 第二个月Cameron 把我的真相告诉给加里，然而那时他听了只是觉得开心。后来他把他的朋友马丁带了来，马丁是个同性恋者。当他舔我的阴部同时我吮吸着他的大鸡鸡，接着他的大鸡巴插进了我的肛门。马丁是我的第一个男人，被鸡奸我以为会十分恶心和难受，然而我错了，他的大鸡巴就像缎子一样，他的鸡巴套弄使我的臀部上下滑动的时候，我听到他的呻吟和喘气声，很舒服，很愉快，我喜欢这样！当时我感惊奇我居然如此自然地接受了男人。 The second month Cameron told Gary the truth about me, but by then　he was only amused. He brought his friend Marty over when he came　calling on Cameron, a gay friend as it turned out, and I sucked　Marty's cock while he licked my limp clit and then fitted himself　into my asshole, my very first real cock. I'd thought it'd be　disgusting, but I was wrong. His tube felt like satin. When I　slid my lips or my bottom up and down on it I could hear him groan　up top. It was fun. It was nice. I liked it. Around then I　began wondering what it would be like to have a more usual place to　receive men. 接下去是第三个月的训练，包括在周末依照Honeybelle 指导老师的吩咐学习如何施展女性的魅力去勾引和取悦男人以及与他们性爱的技巧。在周末的三天时间，我吸吮了超过半打的大鸡巴。这时Cameron 和加里搬进了他们的新家。当我回去时，我已经成了一个特殊的女孩。 Then my third month's training included a weekend retreat where a Honeybelle adviser taught me feminine wiles useful for attracting men. During those three days I got to suck a good half-dozen cocks, and while I was away Cameron and Gary moved into their new place. When I returned from the retreat I was a different girl. 我直接去了我自己的公寓，我没有更多地挂念Cameron 。Cameron 女士她现在只是我工作上的老板，仅此而已。 I went directly into my own place, my downtown bed-sitter, and I　didn't give Cameron another thought. She was now Ms. Cameron to　me, my boss at work, and that was all. 结束了三个月的治疗，我习惯了自己的新阴户和新生活。我与Honeybelle 的五年正式合同开始生效了。现在我作为一名女性生活和工作，并享受作为女性所带来的乐趣，为什么不呢？成为完全的女人，随女孩子们的大流，在接受转变时不要有任何抵触。现在似乎没有人能够看出我和其她女人有什么不同了。 I finished that third month recovering from my operation and　looking forward to a whole three months of paid leave to get　accustomed to my new pussy before my new five year contract with　Honeybelle took effect. Now that I was working as a woman and　living as a woman and enjoying the fun of being a woman, I figured　why not Be a woman all the way, go with the flow, follow the　course of least resistance! It wasn't as if anyone would ever　again think I was anything other than a woman. 我一点都不考虑今后的日子。我有很多女朋友和男朋友作为性伙伴，他们令我很快乐。最特殊的当然是Cameron 女士，他给我留下了深刻的印象，就是和他相比，对于Cameron，我没有任何机会成为她的丈夫，我根本不能对他构成任何竞争，在Cameron 心中我从来都不算是个男人，对她来说我只是一个合适的家庭主妇、或者女仆。 And I don't mind, not at all. Why should I I have many　girlfriends, and a few guys too who want to keep me happy. One in　particular. Whenever I can, I schedule Ms. Cameron out of town on　business trips, and whenever that happens her husband Gary stops by　my flat to impress upon me again and again how I never stood a　chance, how I was never any real competition for him, why Cameron　could never think of me as anything other than a convenient　housekeeper. I'd never been a real man. 但是毫无疑问加里是个真正的男人！在他插入我的身体的时候是如此的有力，如此的刺激！ But there's no doubt Gary's a real man! He feels so good inside　me, and he's so forceful, so persuasive! 现在我不知道该怎么办？他劝我搬离自己的小公寓，与他和Cameron 住在一起，当他们的家庭主妇。 “我们允许你保留你现在的工作、朋友和性伙伴，这里的女仆房间比你现在住的公寓还大，在这你可以更好地招待他们，与他们尽情的交欢，”说话时他凝视着我的眼睛，大鸡巴狠狠地插入我的深处。这对于我来说更方便了，对你也比较好，甚至Cameron也希望你来。她一个人经受不住我的大鸡巴。 And now I don't know what to do. He's urging me to leave my little　apartment and come live with him and Cameron in their new house as　their housekeeper. You could keep your job and your friends, we'd　make allowance for that, and your maid's room would be much bigger　than this one for entertaining them, he tells me as he pumps　himself deeper into me, gazing into my eyes. It'd be a lot more　convenient for me. For you too, even for Cameron. She hates 　picking up after me, and she isn't much of a cook. I just might. The problem is, Cameron knows that Gary's seeing me　when she's away. She put him up to it in fact. She knows how　nowadays I look forward to his visits. That's the incentive she's　counting on. If I come live in their house as their maid（女仆）, she says,　it'd be like when I was living with her as her housekeeper, so 　there'd be no need for her to pay me anything. Of course I'd get　an allowance for the maid's uniforms I'd wear when they entertain　their friends, things like that. But otherwise, she says, I should hold in mind that I'm saving on rent and food, and getting from Gary　what I'd hoped to get from her but never did. Except in a sense. So I don't know. I'll ask the other girls what they think. end 如果有违规的话就请斑竹删了吧。